The Untold Podcast

AccountabiliBuddy: Inner Bitch vs Discipline

• The Untold Family • Season 3 • Episode 5

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0:00 | 22:24

It’s Thursday.
 It’s AccountabiliBuddy time.

Last week we set the challenges:
 – Fight the inner bitch
 – Gym at 6am
 – No vaping
 – Socialise at the kid’s party
 – Get uncomfortable

Did we actually do it?

We talk Viking workouts, nearly losing £150 glasses in a bouncy castle, fighting dopamine addiction, silence in the dark, focus mode on your phone and why most of us are just negotiating with ourselves all day.

No fluff.
 No guru chat.
 Just two dads trying to do what we say we’re going to do.

New challenges set for next week.

Are you keeping yourself accountable… or just talking about it?

Send a text

SPEAKER_02:

It'd be 10 minutes. Right. You're gonna intro it? No, you can do it. No, you're better at intro this. I'll intro it. Go on then. Can you go to start fun? Um it's the bonus episode. What was that? I don't know. What was that, mate? Shocking. MC'. Hello, and welcome to this week's bonus episode where me and Chris set tasks for each other each week to be the accountability buddy to see if we can actually stick to what we say we're gonna do. So, Chris, how are you doing, mate? I'm alright, mate. Good. Is this another? Oh, I've done them all, mate. Yeah, I'm really good. Look at my muscles.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yeah, I have actually, yeah. And I have got a I've got a G lay on today, so I am trying my muscles. I don't know whether you've noticed or not. No, I haven't, mate. They are looking right. Well, I'd rather looking under inflated, I'm not gonna lie. My missy said to me last night, she goes, Chris is looking pretty ripped.

SPEAKER_02:

No, she's not she. She said, When's that kid gonna show up? No, she said, Did you notice the pictures I put on the wall in the kitchen? I was like, No, I don't notice me. It's alright, I don't look any different, mate, to be fair, so yeah, but it'll come. Yeah, I feel great though. What's better is when someone doesn't seen you for ages and Jesus Christ, are you ill? Are you beefcake? Are you ill? I usually do well when you lose a bit of weight.

SPEAKER_01:

Are you alright? Is everything alright? You were really podgy last time I saw you.

SPEAKER_02:

So, um, let's get into this. Right. So you had Cruz's party. How was it? It was amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I loved it, every minute of it. Did you let yourself go?

SPEAKER_02:

Was you social with the parents? I was social.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, I was social with the parents, I was also social with the parents and the pi and the children, to be fair. It was a big bouncy castle slide, massive, like inflatable party. So obviously, me being a very mature 43-year-old man, I did not go on the slide 15 times and have a massive bundle with a couple of my mates that were there and act like a kid, because obviously it's a kid's party, so I you know it's not for me, is it? But I just stood there in the corner and didn't get involved. With a dunt. No, I did. I got involved. I spoke to most of the parents, I was very nice, I was polite, asking if everyone wants a drink or would you like me to wipe your snotty kid's nose or anything like that, you know, and it was lovely until the last 10 minutes. Well, what happened in the last 10 minutes? Oh what when it's time to go? Oh my god, when when the cake comes out, right? All the parents and that, all the children are screaming in this tiny little hall, 24 children, it's a lot of noise. Not even a hall, it's a room. Yeah. I couldn't deal with it, mate. It was too noisy for me. The father-in-law had disappeared and sat in a room outside because it was too much for him. I was getting really overwhelmed, there was too much going on, I was just far too stimulated. The kids were trying to put their fingers in the cakes, they're all like queuing up the like lovely kids, all of them, but four-year-olds are nutters, mate, at the best of time. But you feed them fruit shoots and loads of bits of cake and all sorts of sweet bags and stuff like that. They turn into feral monsters. And the 10 minutes was just pure hell. I couldn't cope with it, mate. I had a knife in one hand trying to cut the cake. I had a kid right underneath me with his finger trying to push his finger into the bluey cake, and then like cutting his fingers off. I said to my missus, I can't deal with this, I'm gonna have to leave the room. Like, this is too much for me. I'm getting even like you can now, I'm scratching my head, like I'm getting overstimulated thinking about it. And then it all went. It all went, and I said to my missus, we've done alright there, didn't we? She went, Yeah, where's Cruz's glasses? I went, Oh, they're in my pocket. Oh no. They're wrapped up in a bouncy castle. Those 150 pound glasses that we bought him are now wrapped up in the bouncy castle that's now been put in the cupboard. So uh we had to wait until yesterday. I went in there. Obviously, Leisure Centre, everyone works there, is about 12 years old, and you kind of don't really get a response from anybody when you ring them up because nobody works in the same department. So I went there and it was on the floor uninflated or deflated on the floor, waiting for the bounce and roll thing that was going to happen at 10 o'clock. So I snuck in the room and climbed in through the folds of the bouncy castle, and there they were, mate, exactly where I thought they were. That's good. But I must point out we did go for all of the bins before we decided that they were probably in the bouncy castle. So all of those children that were snotting and spitting and eating crisps and spitting them back out again. I had my fingers all over that for about 20 minutes at the end of the party. So it was it was great. But I did socialise.

SPEAKER_02:

Did you start every sentence with Hi, I'm Chris, have you heard my podcast? Yeah, I did pretty much, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I wore my untold podcast t-shirt as well. Did you? Nobody said, What does that mean?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh no, we need to get the branding out there. We need to get the branding out there. Um, yeah, basically, great party, very social. Good, very good. Glad to hear it. Um what do you want to do? Do you want to ask me?

SPEAKER_01:

Or shall we go through all the Well, you've got your list and I've got mine. We should have really swapped over.

SPEAKER_02:

Like marking, like in kids.

SPEAKER_01:

Go on, let's go on, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Let's you tick my first one off. Make sure you put a tick there. Get a tick, Chris. And we'd give you a smiley face as well on that.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, right. So the first word that's smashed me in the face on that piece of paper, you know exactly what it's gonna be. What? The dummy. The dummy. The dummy. I have to be honest, I went for a wee when I got here and it smelled smoke. So have you been smoking cigarettes today?

SPEAKER_02:

No, I haven't today. Well done. I have one this morning. After my one in the morning. What about your dummy though? My dummy is still here, mate. But I did go all the way to London without it. And again, it sort of stays in the car. Is that because you forgot it? I'm not no no no, no, it's because I deliberately did it. I wanted to this this is quite we'll talk about all of this. Um It might be easier to talk about all of this, because I've done a lot over the last few days to challenge the bitch within. If you like. So it's a bit of a harsh way to talk about your missus who's at home, isn't it? No, she's good as gold, mate. Um so on let's go. So the Viking walk and stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

We're gonna we're gonna I'm gonna do this because I feel that this will flow better. Okay, cool. I feel this will flow better. Okay, but we'll go through that one, right? I have fought my inner bitch on several occasions. Saturday morning was supposed to be, it was horrible, wasn't it? I was supposed to be down in Lansing for the gym to start at six o'clock. Alarm went off at five, I snoozed it, then I turned it off, then I got up, then I got back in bed, and I said to myself, What are you doing, mate? Get up and go and get it done. And I got up and I went to Lansing and I did the hour-long gym session, and it was I felt credible for doing it. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_01:

Um Did you did you go in there?

SPEAKER_02:

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01:

If anyone that wonders what we're talking about, I've got my finger in my glass of water, splashing it about, asking Ashley if he's been for a freezing cold water swim yet.

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, I didn't do that. I didn't do that. Um, but I did there and I got there. I got there five minutes early and it was done. Sunday morning was the two-hour hike. Again, same thing. I was like, I don't want to go, I can't be bothered. And I got up and I did it. And I felt incredible because every single inch of my body was telling me, no, don't do it. You don't need you don't need to do it, mate. You went to the gym yesterday, you're gonna be alright, mate. You can miss it today. Don't worry, go back to bed, it's Sunday. But I didn't. Um Monday I didn't go to the um circuits because I was in London at the Connort. Um I didn't take a vape with me deliberately because I was like, well, I'm gone, I don't need it. Then yesterday.

SPEAKER_01:

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

SPEAKER_02:

You know I was coming in. Yeah, but you went at a cigar and I smoked some massive cigarettes. Yeah, but that's different. That was different. Well, with a vape is it's like what I'm trying like I'm trying to teach myself, you don't need it. People that vape will probably feel the same. Oh my god, where is it? Like when you leave the house now, you're like, keys, wallet, phone, vape. Where's my vape? It's like your mobile, isn't it? When you leave your mobile, you think, oh god, I've oh my god, what am I gonna do? I'm gonna have to drive all the way home and get it or like and it's what I'm doing is I'm teaching my body that I don't need it, that I don't need it. So yesterday I didn't touch it all day because I didn't have one. Um I got home and found an old one, um, and just like literally a couple of puffs on the sofa, and that was it. So I'm doing well with it. I'm doing well with it. I've done well with the Vikings um again this weekend. We got Saturday, Sunday, and then Monday I can do weekend after I'm away in the Isle of White, so I won't do it. But we're building up to the Iron March on the first of March. So I did well, I think, with like all the things was literally about getting rid of the inner bitch and fighting that, and it's hard, it's really, really hard to fight that inner bitch, and I call it an inner bitch because that's what it is. Now I need to fight the inner bitch to get into the sea when it's cold and be uncomfortable. I don't want you to do that on your own. I want to be with I want to be there with you. Well, can we wait until it's I don't mind if it's a camera? If the sun's out and the sea's flat and it's a nice frosty morning, I don't mind that. I want to hold your hand with a camera in the other hand. Yeah, and I'll pull you in. You're not taking my camera.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't have got a dodgy heart, mate. I'm not allowed in cold water.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, but it's not that cold. I'm gonna Google it. I'm gonna find out what I think it's not gonna be three degrees. Um so okay, so I sort of jumped in there and that's covered most things off. So let's go back to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Well done, Ashley. Let's all give Ashley a round of applause because he's done absolutely everything.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well, didn't I? Brilliant. Give it 80%. Let's give it 80%. Um content for the podcast out of your office.

SPEAKER_01:

I did do it. I know you did. Yeah, I did do it. You did. Should I wear my shoes and my fire extinguishers? Um go and uh check it out.

SPEAKER_02:

What do you think of my office? It's quite nice actually, isn't it? Nice little space, isn't it? It's a nice little office. Maybe one day we'll pack up the gear and we're going to do a podcast from your office. We'll do the from the casting couch. Well, I've got I've got to invest in some more tech, haven't I? Because now the building the dream podcast that I do is gonna be remote. I need to buy mics like this that are go in your pocket, the receiver goes in your pocket, and lapel mics, because that's something I've got to do. So we could do that and we could do that as a test.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Um do you understand why you had such syndrome? Because I'm a wimp.

SPEAKER_01:

It's not, it is not no, it is, it's because I'm a wimp. I've never felt very highly of myself, so I need to start thinking more highly of myself. Yeah. I need to put myself on a step rather than a pedestal. No, not a pedestal. Never ever on a pedestal. People that are on pedestals are just yeah, you don't that that's not a thing.

SPEAKER_02:

I think you need to know your worth, Chris. I think you need to know your worth, mate. And understand that feeling the way you felt last week is actually healthy.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't feel like it anymore at all. Good. It's gone. I think that little therapy session absolutely smashed the life out of it. So I thank you, sir. Good. Because again, like the popcast, the podcast that we recorded earlier for Monday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You've helped me out on that one as well. Good. I'm glad. Uh what's it what's an hourly rate?

SPEAKER_02:

Quite a yeah, well, if you want business advice, then I'm more than happy to give it. If you want to book a Zoom call with me, it's absolutely fine. I'll tell you what I would do and what I wouldn't do. I just can't listen to my own advice.

SPEAKER_01:

So I think it's important to mention obviously what I was feeling last week is is a is a feeling that so many people have. And actually, it's just a feeling. That's that's kind of what I sat there and I thought to myself, why am I feeling like that? Oh, actually, it is it's as simple, it's just a feeling. Yeah, it's not something that actually is gonna make any difference to my life unless I let it ruin it. No. So, what's the point in worrying about it? I always say to my missus, stop worrying about things that you can't control, and actually, I can control that because it's something that is the the movement of my life, it's my journey. So, yeah, I I just uh it's gone now, so I do understand why I was feeling like that, and it's because of the the motion that that my head and my body was going through, and I'm in that space now, so it's gone.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well that's good, and then obviously we wrote on here both of us something for the podcast to grow the podcast, which we did because we turned up and did another episode. Exactly. I made some shorts last week as well, which I made the shorts and then didn't post any of them. Is that for your holiday in Spain? Or no, no, I'll make some shorts for the podcast. I didn't make podcasts for my holiday.

SPEAKER_01:

No, in the podcast we spoke about you having lots of strings to your bow, but making shorts as well.

SPEAKER_02:

No, no, I'm not making shorts, I'll just buy them. Buy them. So yeah, so well done, Chris. We both we both gave it a good good effort last week. So now we can swap back. What are we gonna do next week? Oh god, this is the bit that we should think about before. We should think about before the episode.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, right, number one. Number one. Get your ass in the sea. In the sea. There you go.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean that's a big one, mate, to be fair, so. Yeah. I will do the I will do the sea. You've got something to see. I spoke to my mum this morning. Uh Tuesdays. Uh pool's up to um her swimming pool's up to um like reasonable temperature now. Yeah. So I'll pretend that it's winter and going in that. Get the kids to jump in and make loads of waves and just hide the background. That's something you're gonna see. That's something I will do. Um when it's a nice brisk cold. Oh, okay. I'll get rid of that morning. No, get rid of that one. Get rid of that one for now.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, I will do it. Can you just can we just note take note that I did give Ashley a challenge and just refused to do it first?

SPEAKER_02:

I didn't refuse to do it, I'll just say that I'll do it. These are bi-weekly, mate. I'll I'll do it, I'll do it. Right, so you're going to TikTok headquarters today.

SPEAKER_00:

I am, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You are. I want you to push yourself out of your comfort zone and have conversations with people. Oh, I will do, mate. I'm a I'm a I'm a business owner.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, that's it. I'm fine when I get into places I can talk to anybody. It's just like a few.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, well, you you've got to you've got to um talk to everyone. You've got to talk to people and have confidence while you're doing it. Talk to people. Not the cleaners. Or not the people that are opening the door for you. Talk to people that open the beat the person in the restaurant. Yeah, not the not the guy taking your order for drinks behind the bar. No, don't drink, mate, still having had a drink.

SPEAKER_01:

Talk to people. Well, that's good. I needed one after that birthday party though, mate. Trust me. Trust me.

SPEAKER_02:

But that's you, you're fighting the inner bitch. Okay, right. Telling yourself what to do.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so this is really hard, man. It's always really hard to just come up with things on the fly. We should really be thinking about this beforehand, shouldn't we? I want you to sit in silence for 30 minutes. Jesus Christ. No light. I want you to sit in the dark. I want you to sit in in when it's early or very late at night when there's nobody around and it's really quiet. I just want you to reflect on everything that's going on. I know you will. I'm gonna show you. It's a big challenge, mate.

SPEAKER_02:

Remember when I did it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. My uh my my addiction to dopamine. Yeah. I think that's the thing with a vape, I think that's the thing with a phone. My addiction to fucking dopamine is.

SPEAKER_01:

Tell me the truth though, if you do it or not. Yeah, well. Because I'll know if you're lying. No, I will. Because it's it's a thing that will actually probably make you quite emotional, I think.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. I want to do fucking breath therapy, mate.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Been watching.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, no, like the that's the eyes. I forgot what it is. Yeah, no, like the breath work. I'd love to do some breath work. I'd love to maybe if someone's listening and they're a breath work expert, we'll go and do it and we'll film it. Because it's supposed to be a episode, though, won't it be like No, it's not that. Some of the videos I've seen is some of the people I've spoken to about it, mate.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, to be fair, we might we might actually get more listeners if we do that.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't say that, so you're putting us down now, Chris.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I meant because of the uh because of the the heavy breathing and the panting and stuff, you know, that'll be involved in the breath work.

SPEAKER_02:

Um Do you know what else I want you to do? Oh god, here we go. I want you to put f sorry, I was swearing then. I want you to put focus. I want you to set up focus on your phone. So for certain hours of the day you don't get notifications. Oh, I can't do that while I'm setting up a business. It's impossible. But even if it was for an hour. Okay. Even if it's for an hour.

SPEAKER_01:

Self-focus on my phone.

SPEAKER_02:

Set out focus on your phone or put it in a the other room so when Cruz comes in and you say, Right, you've got my undivided attention, you have given him your undivided attention. Alright, I can do that. And because of what we've just talked talked about, you're now running a business. You need to, every day, I want you to do a list. Three things you've got to do that are gonna generate money, and three things that nine things. Do three things that have got to be done today, three things that you should do today, and three things that if you've got time you're gonna do today. Does that make sense? Three things you've got to do, three things I've got not gotta do. Three things you should do, should do, and three things that can wait, but it would be good to get them done today.

SPEAKER_01:

Jesus, am I gonna have any time to do anything else during the day?

SPEAKER_02:

Well you will, because if you structure it properly. It might be like that you've got to Do you know what I mean? It might be that, right, I need to I need to fill in that extra form for TikTok. I need to go through the list of people that have signed up for the launch on Friday at 8 o'clock. Like they're things that okay, right, how long's it gonna take to reply? And that's 15 minutes to do that form. Sweet, it's done then, it's out of the way, it's done.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Because what I find is I'm like, oh, I need to do, and I've got it in my head, I know what I've got to do, and I'm like, I've got to do that, that, that, and then I start that and then don't finish it, then I'll do that. Whereas if I write it down, I'll do that a lot. Yeah, if I write it down, I'll physically tick off the list, that one's done. I can forget that now. Yeah, and then you prioritise the list. Okay, that's gonna take 10 minutes, that's gonna take 15, that's gonna take three hours. Well, do the do the ones that take ten and fifteen, and then the one that takes three hours, because then you're not thinking about the first two before you do that, blah blah blah. Okay try it, try it for a week.

SPEAKER_01:

That's that's all my free then, isn't it? That's all you're free. What have I got to do for you then? Um, I'm trying to get a guest for the podcast. I had one and he told me he had too much of a list to come on the podcast. Oh, okay. Which is really annoying. Um, because he would have been really good.

SPEAKER_02:

I wonder if we can we can probably do the mics that take the list out.

SPEAKER_01:

You reckon?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm pretending I got a list for him when I'm not recording. Um, I thought he'd have been quite a good guy to come on, actually. How about you try and get a guest then?

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah? I'm still trying, I've not given up. That's not me saying I've given up on that one.

SPEAKER_02:

Then it's a guest though, that's we it's gotta be a guest that's that's focusing on like what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, not just any old uh don't just go out and grab someone out of the street and spraying a car outside or something like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Um I'm gonna guess I'm gonna get a guess, huh? Being human that's anyone then.

SPEAKER_01:

Really? But that just Hi, my name's Gary, and I'm here because I'm human.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. No, but that you know what I mean. Being like like we are, yeah. Being a normal human that's someone that can help someone else. Right, next one I want you to do.

SPEAKER_01:

I want you to drink three litres of water every day. Oh bloody hell, okay. Because I've got a real thing at the moment. Obviously, I sell supplements heavily, right? And uh my brother's not been sleeping very well. He's been taking all these supplements that I promote, and he's saying, They're rubbish, you know, they're nothing. I'll take this for sleep, I'll take that for sleep, they ain't doing nothing. I say to him, How much drink how much water are you drinking throughout the day? Well, I don't really drink any water, I drink coffee and tea.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So I said to his missus, she came on my live the other night and moaned at me about him moaning about if he's not asleep. And I said to him, Tell him to drink three litres of water tomorrow and see how he gets on. Slept like a baby. Two days later, I just slept like a baby. So do that. Alright, that's good for you, mate. Clears your skin up, makes you feel healthy, fills your body up with goodness. Yeah. Not tap water though, mate. It's gotta be bottled water. Oh, really? Yeah. God, don't drink tap water, it's not very good for you. I'm sorry if there's anybody listening that loves tap water, but 20 years ago it was a good thing to drink, but the stuff that is in there, you don't really want to be drinking it. You don't know what's in it. South East Water, if you are listening, I'm talking about you.

SPEAKER_02:

They're getting a lot of flack at the moment, but we won't go into that.

SPEAKER_01:

I got a nice little check though for having no water for six days, it was lovely. Did you? How much they give you? Cruise is getting a new bed, he's getting a new set of what drawers in his bedroom. How much they give you? 600 quid? What? Yeah, mate, it was alright, because I stayed up with Mim in laws all week, so I didn't have to worry about it. Jesus Christ, I didn't know that. Yeah, 600 quid.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. Did you have to fight for that?

SPEAKER_01:

We got no, it comes from uh mate, there were so many people moaning about it straight away that it never gonna not happen. But they put the money into a credit account straight on the phone. No, you can put it in my bank, please. Oh, we'll have to send you a check. Well, that's fine, mate. I've got it in the bank and clear it. Yeah. Cleared yesterday, so we're gonna be searching for a new. I think he's having a tent bed or something. He wants a pirate bed with a slide and all sorts of stuff. I mean, his bedroom's about the same size as a slide, so let alone the bed. We'll see, we'll see. We have to convince him otherwise, I think. We'll see.

SPEAKER_02:

Alright, cool. Well, without further ado, that's another accountabillibuddy accountability episode. Um, three things to do. Sit in silence for 30 minutes, get a guest, being human daily. Um, get a guest for the podcast. Um drink three litres of water.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm going to check that one every day, actually. I like those. I'm not gonna let you go a week before I ask you about the water. I'm asking you every day. Have you got a guest yet?

SPEAKER_02:

Have you got a guest yet? You got a guest yet? I'll get a guess, mate. Don't worry about that. Sweet. Well, that's it then. That's it. It's been another episode of the Untold Podcast bonus on a Thursday round, um, where we just want. I want you to learn a bit more about me and Chris on the inside. Um, and we are trying to be better humans and better husbands and better dads and better brothers and better sisters. And I'm not a sister. I'm pretty I'm a pretty good brother to be fair. I don't need to be a better brother. Um, so yeah, if you've enjoyed it, thank you very much. Listen, like, subscribe, share it, and listen to the main episodes on a Monday. Yeah. Peace. See you in a bit.