The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
Will I Survive XCC? Why We Delay Fitness, Family, and Finding Time for Ourselves
What if “I’ll start next week” is the quiet lie draining your energy today?
Ash opens up about his looming XCC challenge in the Welsh hills — no phone, ration packs, a tent, and a tangle of nerves — as we unpack why fitness, health, and self-care so often get pushed to the bottom of the list.
It’s a candid, funny, and grounded chat about anxiety, procrastination, preparation, and why picking movement you actually enjoy beats forcing yourself into a gym you’ll only resent.
We swap punishment for practicality: boxing over treadmills, golf as therapy, and the power of a simple 20-minute walk to reset your head better than another doom scroll.
Tom’s message about long hours, family life, and fitness drift becomes everyone’s question — is it really about time, or priorities? We talk small, non-negotiable habits, lowering the barrier to starting, and setting boundaries that protect your people by protecting your bandwidth first.
Highlights
- Why fear and anxiety can fuel growth
- The truth behind “I’ll start next week”
- Fitness vs. family — balancing guilt and priorities
- Why mates, laughter, and a change of scenery matter
- How mental health leads, and physical health follows
There’s even a bit of kit chat — boots over bravado, pack like future-you matters, and always expect the forecast to change.
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish; it’s maintenance.
If you’re juggling bills, school runs, late nights, and a body that needs a nudge, this one’s your green light to start small — today.
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Hi, I'm Ash. Hello Chris. Welcome to The Untold Podcast. We decided to do the intro and outro every episode so we can uh make it a little bit different. And also, ex also last episode we did, I bought these things on the back of the mics. And when we went to play it back to ourselves, it was like we were both screaming at the mic. Proper. So I've had a play with the settings on the mics. So fingers crossed, this should be the best ever sounding episode that we've ever done. Not sure about the content. I was gonna say, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Well I sound good, but hopefully hopefully it'll be a good podcast as well, to be fair. What have you been up to? Um not a lot, mate, to be fair. Actually, no, I've done quite a productive week, to be fair so far. I've uh completely redone my studio. Bit of a Halloween vibe for October. Saw it last night. Uh tied it up a few other bits and got a bit of other other stuff underway on it. But other than that, really. Not a lot. No. It's the usual, really. You've had quite an exciting week, to be fair. Oh man, I'm buzzing today. Like you're tired, and you're like, oh done lines. And I'm like, way, let's go.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you've got your trip to look forward to, and I've got a wife having a hurning operation.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know whether I'll look forward to it, we'll get into that in a minute. Um I went down to see my mate, um, ex military. It's the UK broken veteran on Instagram, if you want to follow him, and he made us some uh made us some little bits of merch up with his laser etcher. They do look proper good though, don't they? I'll hold it up to the to the camera. We've got some so if you're looking for some untold podcast merch, then please get in touch or go to www.there isn't a website there yet.podcast.com. Um but yeah, no, we got we got some cool little trinket bits because I don't know about you, Chris, but I'm really fucking excited about this podcast and where it's going.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I'm getting a good vibe, mate. I really am getting a good vibe. We're getting some really good feedback. The fact we're getting messages in from people as well makes a big difference, doesn't it? It makes you actually feel like there's somebody listening.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, does it? And when I say in the post, thanks for our seven listeners. I'm only joking, there's actually about 18 now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we appreciate each and every one of our listeners. And if you're listening to this now, follow us, like, subscribe, share with your friends. And we're trying to bring value in every episode. Um this week, I thought that we could talk about why, as human beings, we leave everything till the last minute. Because, as you know, the listeners may know, they may not. This time next week, I will have woken up somewhere in Wales in a tent because I'm doing the XCC challenge. You're open anyway, as long as it's not too windy, you might wake up somewhere else. Well, that's it, isn't it? So that's it. So at the moment, I keep asking questions in the group. So I'm in a group with the people, and they're like, Ash, stop asking fucking questions. So my daughter said, Dad, what time are you gonna be home? On the Sunday. I think it finishes on the Sunday. What time are you gonna? I said, I don't know. So I asked in a group, and they were like, You'll find out. Every question I've asked, you'll find out. Just turn up with your kit and you will find out, which is quite exciting, but also it's really fucking with my anxiety. Like, I they put a post on Instagram this morning, like if 145 blokes come to the XCC, like, how are you all feeling? I was like anxious, nervous, but super excited at the same time. It's like it's the unknown, isn't it? Yeah, the unknown.
SPEAKER_03:It's very rare, very rare that you live in an unknown world now, isn't it? As well.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I um could either be dead. Yeah, dead, not live, broken ankle. When this comes out, I will have finished it. But we don't know yet. What do you reckon? Do you reckon I'll do it?
SPEAKER_03:Well, let's just put it this way.
SPEAKER_02:Next after this episode, if it started by Welcome to the United Podcast. I'm Chris.
SPEAKER_03:And there's no ash.
SPEAKER_02:There's no ash.
SPEAKER_03:We know exactly what's happening, won't we? But yeah, I You'll be fine, mate. You're you're overthinking it.
SPEAKER_00:You'll be fine. Do you know the biggest thing? Like, I'm looking forward to no phone for four days. I'm looking forward to getting rid of my pink puffer for four days, hopefully kicking that because that's fucking girly as fuck. Look at that. I mean, look at it, yeah. And that's the first thing you said when you walked in today. Um, I'm nervous about for the first time in me and my wife been together like 13 years. We haven't had a day where we haven't spoken. My kids have been alike for 17, 12, and seven years. Um that's why you're doing it though, mate, isn't it?
SPEAKER_03:It's part of the challenge. That's all part of it. It's part of the challenge. Just to take yourself, just give yourself a bit of a reset. And do you know what? I think it'll be a brilliant thing for all of you that are doing it. I think it'd be a fantastic thing for all of your relationships as well. Because it'll make you realise that actually you do appreciate everything that each other does when they're not there. And because even then, even though when you're not with somebody, you've got a text message come through every half hour, aren't you?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, I'm doing this, I'm just taking the dog for a walk. I'm just and the unknown is the unknown. It's it is purely the unknown. You they're gonna have no idea. Obviously, if it's an emergency or something, they'll be, I would imagine, get a phone call. Just not have a like six months where they don't know what's going on. But I think I think it'll be brilliant, mate. And I'm I'm really am devastated that I'm not doing it to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there's always the next one. I s I spoke to I was at a beautiful, wicked event this week um up in Lincolnshire with some very wicked blokes and and women, um, and they're all sort of there, and we're all pushing you on. And it was amazing, and that, and that's what I think, like the group that I've been put into, I'm in a group now on WhatsApp, um, which is my group, and few of them have done it before, and said it's completely changed their lives to the point where this is their third or fourth time of doing it. There's a couple of people like me who have never done it. The only thing I'm really nervous about is despite booking on booking on this probably four or five months ago, I haven't done any fucking physical training. It's only walking though, isn't it? No, I don't think it is. We push you to your boundaries physically and mentally.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, but that's probably like physically probably means in the rain, in the wind, and up and down hills and stuff. You'd be all right. I mean, it says for all walks of life, so and all shapes and sizes, do you know what I mean? So I wouldn't panic too much, mate. And you're not I mean you're not massively overweight, are you? It's not like you're carrying 30 stone. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00:No, and that's it. Like, and I think that's that's the one thing, and that might be the thing that I shouldn't be worried about, but that's the thing that I think for me, that's the thing that I really wanted to do. I wanted to do this challenge because it would push me to be physically fitter.
SPEAKER_03:I think it'll more be uh more of a mental challenge for you, to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think um like why I do it when I did the London Spartan bike ride. When I first signed up to it, I did a couple of training rides and I did nothing until the week before.
SPEAKER_03:My first ever London marathon, didn't do any training whatsoever.
SPEAKER_00:But why do we do it?
SPEAKER_03:Do you think?
SPEAKER_00:Why I don't know why do we especially physical fitness? Why do we it's just so important, our body is so important, and it's like our tool that gives us everything. It's the same with the brain though, isn't it? Mental fitness. Um, which is I've been focusing a lot more on mental fitness than I have on physical fitness, but the two combine, don't they really?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, definitely.
SPEAKER_00:Like my thing is when I've been working all day and I want to go home and see the kids, I leave the house at half six every morning, and then I have a day. Sometimes I'm in the office till six, seven, eight, nine o'clock at night. The last thing that I want to do then is go in the fucking gym. I don't understand how people do it either, mate, to be fair. But is it uh is it a like just breaking the routine? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:I think you need to get into the routine, don't you? Like that's the difference. It's um, you know, we all put off things off we all put things off until tomorrow because we think tomorrow's definitely gonna come. That's the difference.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We all take tomorrow for granted, don't we? Um I wish I'd I had a quote this morning, I wish I'd remembered it. I said to Sam actually, I might get it printed and put it on the wall because it was that good. Very basic, but it was so good. It was something about like something tomorrow's never guaranteed. But I think that's why we all put things off so much. Because you just you sit on the sofa and you go, Oh, it's alright, I'll get up tomorrow and do it. I'll get up tomorrow and do it, I'll get up tomorrow tomorrow and do it. But a lot of people that probably do the things all the time, they probably just think, Well, I live in then right now, I'm not living in tomorrow. And that's probably why they succeed in doing certain things. But I mean, when I used to go to the gym all the time, the minute you start going is the minute you carry on going. It's just like anything. You know, if you're scared to do something, if you don't want to do something, the minute you start doing it, it comes easy, like the podcasts. First episode that we did, we did, we did. Uh I sat down and I absolutely shout myself. Alright, we just had a discussion a minute ago. As soon as that camera puts in my face, I still feel a bit nervous for the first five seconds. But you know, the more you do something, the more you want to do it, the more you get used to it. It's like anything, isn't it? It's just that initial getting across that line. Like, once you get there, you'll be fine. Yeah. Because you can't think about it anymore. You've just got to get on with it. That's the difference, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And it's and I always feel the same. Like, I'd done a couple of boxing classes last week. Because I enjoy like the thing with me is I like exercising. I know that I need to exercise more, but I just bought the gym bores the fuck out of me. I used to play squash a lot before the the the reason that the training stopped for the London to Brighton was because I was playing squash, I slipped over and I dislocated my shoulder. And it was the most painful thing. Did you get it on camera? And it no, unfortunately not. I did get, do you know what we did get? When we were in the hospital and the guy was putting it back in, they give you this fucking green pen thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was the best high of my life. Like gas and air, innit, when you're pregnant. I said to the guy, Can I get where can I buy this? This was fucking amazing. So I was in there for like an hour and a half, and they were moving my arm and stuff, and I was just high as a kite. Didn't feel any of it. We did actually get that on camera, and the guy was like, No, you can't keep that, you've got to delete it. But we Oh really? Yeah, we kept it. So uh if you want to I'll put it in, I'll put a take a clip out of it and definitely for people that are the visual side of it on the YouTube. I'll put a short clip of 30 seconds of me in the hospital off my tits on this green pen thing. But shh, don't tell the hospital because they told me to delete it. But that's why the the training stopped. But I love playing squash and I love doing things like I don't mind cycling because it's a bit more like you're with a mate normally. I wouldn't like riding on my own. Did you done wear like a code here? No, I don't wear that. Only on a Saturday night between the hours of five and seven. Um and I just yeah, like so I went to boxing and I really enjoyed it. And I realised how shit my cognitive function was. Took my 17-year-old son, and we're doing all these pads and stuff, and I can't do it. I can't do the pads, I can't like it was mad. And but that's for me, is I need to enjoy exercise.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it's the in it's the door, it's the it's the endorph endorphins, isn't it? When you exercise, you your body releases endorphins, and that's when you enjoy it because you like the feeling. It's you think you enjoy sitting on the sofa doing nothing, watching TV, but actually the the endorphins you're getting there is just a completely different thing. When you're actually working out, you're physically making yourself feel so much better, and mentally, when you feel better, you you're automatically mentally better anyway. So um, yeah, it's I I don't do anything, mate, to be fair. I said to you the other day, I went to the gym, went to the gym on Monday and uh I asked them what time they shut. I said eight o'clock, so I left and said, alright, cheer, cheers, and didn't go back because eight o'clock's too early for me. I wanted a 24-hour gym, so I'm not going to the gym now. I made the effort to go in the door, but it just wasn't the right gym for me. But I probably won't ever go to another gym again now. It's just I don't know, it's it's so hard, isn't it? It's like going on holiday. Why do why do we leave everything to the last minute insurance? Packing. I get on the internet and I book the holiday insurance 10 minutes before we get the taxi in the morning. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:It's booked the travel insurance after I broke my arm the other day, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so much so that we had a holiday booked and we didn't go, and I didn't book the insurance early enough, so that I lost all the money on it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, and and if I'd have just got off my lazy ass and booked the insurance as soon as I'd booked the holiday, I would have got my money back.
SPEAKER_00:Um we have had a couple, not as many messages through on that phone though. Not as many messages, so I was a bit disappointed with that. But um Tom said, and this was the reason I'm bringing this one up, is because it's quite, it's very fitting into what we're talking about. He said, lads, I keep telling myself I'll start taking fitness seriously, but life always gets in the way. He said, I work long hours, I've got a young family, and by the time I get home, I'm shattered. I always say, I'll start next week, but next week never comes. Do you think it's about time, or is it just that I'm not making myself enough of a priority?
SPEAKER_03:First of all, I was expecting you to read Tom's message out in Tom's Bristolian accent. Oh, sorry, mate. I'm devastated. I'm looking down it said Tom's from Bristol. I was gutted that you didn't bust out a Bristolian accent, though. I don't think I'm gonna do Bristol. Sorry, Tom. I'm not calling you out, mate, but I was expecting that to apologise.
SPEAKER_00:Um it's quite like and the reason I thought sort of put this into today's show notes is because it is quite fitting to like it's very similar to my life. And not just in exercise, and you're a dad, I would imagine you're the same as me, and you prioritise the other people in your life before you. Oh 100%, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Um why do we do it? I think you're just geared up for it. I think it's just it's kind of what you uh as a man, I mean not every not all blokes feel like this, I know that, but as a man, for me, my job is to protect and to look after my family. And my friends to a certain extent. Do you know what I mean? Like if my friends need me, I'm always there. But I think if you're brought up in a right way and in and you have these things instilled into you as a child, that is how you behave. And yeah, you are the last person on the list. My wife will probably tell you otherwise other things, she'll probably say she feels like that, but that's because she feels the same as I do. She wants to look after me and she wants to protect her family. But um by the time you've done all that, you're fucked. You know, certainly I go live in the evenings as well, so you know, on my time I spend bathing crews and getting him ready for bed and everything, then I'm like it's almost like a high five tag team. I I I leave the bedroom and say goodnight to him and I run downstairs or I have a quick shower and I'm out in the studio. So I don't have time to exercise. I mean I could do it during the day, but where I do everything in the evening and afternoon, I'm shattered in the morning, so I don't physically have the energy to do anything other than just try and get some energy back. So it is so hard. And what you've got to remember is like 2025 is a lot different to 2090, uh 1995, isn't it? Years ago, you just had one parent that was working, so you had that spare time because when you finished work, you spent a bit of time with your family, your wife took over or whatever, or you the husband took over, and you could do more things. But at the moment, we're all stressed out, we're all working so much harder to earn the money we need to spend on the bills, let alone do anything like join the gym, and we class the gym as a luxury because it's yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:That's a good point. And obviously, we had that message from Paul. Um, he's a friend of mine, he's a plumber, and it about the last episode about the the kids and stuff, and he said exactly that. He said he's been a plumber for like 40 years back in the day. He had a job, they had a nice life. His wife at the time was stay at home, look after the kids, look after the home. Now they're both out working, and yeah, so life has changed, hasn't it? Massively, yeah. But when it like I've learned that there's nothing better, and I do this for my wife as well. Like, she's like, Oh, you're like, I was just up in Lincoln, I'm drinking whiskey with some really wicked people in a hotel, no kids, no real responsibilities, just me showing up, turning up and having these intellectual conversations. And she said to me on the phone, aren't they? She's like, Yeah, it's all right for you, you get to go and do these things and stuff. And I'm like, Yeah, but I would never stop you doing that. Yeah, I like it when she goes out and lets her hair down and goes and does things. I really enjoyed the time with the kids on my on myself, on my own. Yeah. But I think as like parents and humans, we it's like I wouldn't go in a shop and spend I took my daughters to Build-A-Bear, 100 quid in Build-A-Bear, and that's fine. I wouldn't go in the shop and buy myself something for£100 just off of a just off the cuff because that money could be spent on them. Don't buy myself new clothes unless I need them for a wedding. Normally you're going out somewhere and you need new clothes. Um but for the kids, I would do for the kids and my wife, I would do spend money, and a lot of it's down to money, like prioritizing. But what I've learnt is that me and my mates have started playing golf, and we need to go and play golf. Um, you're a lot better than me on your like putting them in the hole and I'm fucking losing them in the river. I have to buy lake balls. It's kind of a hole, I suppose. It's just a big long wide one. I just buy buckets instead of having decent balls, I'll just buy the range bucket and just carry it around with me. And by the time I'm halfway through, I have to go and get another bucket because I've lost that many balls. But I like playing golf in the mornings, early Sunday morning with my mates. Like, we'll go and do a half six tea off, and I enjoy that because it's like an escapism, and I think that's really important for not just men, but for women to have something for them that's not do you know what I mean? That's not the route to break the routine.
SPEAKER_03:Also, like I can back that up to be fair, because where I finished work at the end of April, I I also quit golf. I I cancelled my golf membership, and obviously my my motor's been off the road, so I haven't really had a car. So every minute that I've been at home, I've been either at home on my own or with my missus. And we've noticed that we bicker a lot. And I think if you don't take time away from each other, you run the risk of just becoming these two people in a house that just constantly spend every minute of every day with each other, and you lose that. I quite miss that person. I quite miss Do you know what I mean? Like, I used to go and play golf for like four well, around the golf like four, four and a half hours, but it's not, it's obviously nine, ten hours long around the golf because that's how long it takes to go around 18 holes, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one tiny little bit of beer afterwards that lasts about six hours, but um, you know, that's your escape, and it that gives your missus time to be away from you, and it gives you time to to wind down. You know, we did the episode with James where he said the best thing for you to talk to somebody is to talk when you're walking along side by side with them, and even mentioned about golf, innit? So if I was having an issue or I was having thoughts that I didn't want to have to share with my wife, I'd just jokingly have a laugh with one of my mates about it, talking about it at golf, and it would release that stress and release that tension, and then I'd go home a little bit hung over, and uh and and I'd be a nicer person because I've I've allowed myself to take that break and not feel like all the only person that people that I see is my family, because it's really important to have that social side of things.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Like I I think, like, and this it goes back to Tom's message. I can't do a Bristolian accent. I might try it though next week. Um, but it's not all about like you do need to make yourself a priority because if you're running your best, if you're at your best, if you're physically fit, if you're mentally fit, then you're gonna be able to show up a lot easier for the people around you. And it's not, I don't think it's selfish. I don't think it's selfish. Obviously, there are certain people that will go to the pub Friday, Saturday, Sunday, get absolute steaming, not see their missus, not see their. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is it's important to make time for yourself. It's important to do something that you enjoy every now and then.
SPEAKER_03:It doesn't have to be something big either, does it? Do you know what I mean? Just get if if you've got a family and you haven't got a dog, get yourself a dog.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Go for a walk. Get up on a Sunday morning and go for an hour-long walk on your own. Just get some fresh air and it's exercise, isn't it? It's good for your mental health. It's you know, it's there's certain there's so many things that you can do without actually feeling this. Is the problem like people feel like they've got to force themselves out of their comfort zones to do things for themselves when actually you can do a lot of simple things to to make you feel like you're actually achieving something other than working, sleeping, and being a parent.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I I think it's um it's it and it could do what I mean. Like, me and my mates, I've got probably four or five close mates that they'll be friends for life. I know for a fact if I needed them, they'd be there, and vice versa. We may sit it's very, very rare, other than like weddings and funerals, that all of us are in the same place at the same time. I'm very much a connector, and every summer I'll try and put on an event like stake and poker in the garden, and we all get together. But sods a lot, one person can't come. No matter how many weekends you try and plan it, it never fits around everybody. But when we do that, I just feel so energized. I feel so good because you don't have to be anybody you're not. It's not a sales meeting, it's not um doing a podcast and worried about what you say, they're your mates. You can talk to them about anything sometimes. Um, and I think it's really important. And for obviously, women do it all the time. Oh, he's being a dickhead 20 people, yeah, mate, leave him. Yeah, he's a dick. Yeah, no course. Do you know what I mean? Whereas blokes, we we won't do that. I won't message you and say, Oh, the wife told me that I didn't put the bins out quick enough this morning or something like that, um, and cause him routes. I won't message you and say that I'd just bottle that up inside.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's good to prioritise, don't be a dick about it. Do you know what I mean? Don't oh look, the boys on the untold, darling, the boys on the untold said, I've got to prioritize me more. Um I'm fucking off for six weeks. Do you know?
SPEAKER_03:I think most people appreciate it anyway. I think if if you do, I think if you do prioritise a little bit, a little bit rather than because it's not it's not probably the most attractive thing either to just not care about yourself. Do you know what I mean? Um it's a difficult way of saying it, but if if you're just somebody that is at everybody's back and call all the time and you worry about everybody else other than yourself constantly, you probably come across a little bit of a wetty. Yeah, bit of a wet right. Bit of a liberal, liberal woke lefty. Yeah, yeah, liberal woke lefty, yeah, that's it. It's my favourite um, but yeah, it is important to to show people that you do respect yourself and do have a little bit of like you time as well, because otherwise you are just like a bit of a doorstep, aren't you?
SPEAKER_00:And they say, not door mate, yeah. And then they say like you're how the fuck is anybody else gonna love you if you don't love yourself? And that's really true. And I think if you get up in the morning, you look at yourself in the mirror and you'd be like, you fat bastard, do something about it.
SPEAKER_03:Have I got a two-way mirror?
SPEAKER_00:You've got to get it, I'll do it. I sit there and I look and I'm like, uh, yeah, you're not, you're not, do you know what I mean? But but you're not happy, and I say it to the kids like if you're not happy in yourself, then do something to change it. Yeah, yeah. Only you can do that. Whether it's whether it's take a bit of mangiano, whether it's saying, right, I want to do 8,000 steps a day, whether it's record a load of videos, whether it's go to the gym, whether it's speak to someone, like you're the only person that can change that, and that's the start of prioritising you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I must say I've actually got I've got one of those, I've got one of those days coming up. Can't wait at the end of the month, me and all we mates going out. Oh, I am last trip to London for the day. Yeah. I hate to imagine what I'm gonna feel like the following day, but buzz it, mate. We haven't had one for probably like two, three years, so uh it's gonna be a big blowout.
SPEAKER_00:It's um but it's good, and you'll feel good after it. Like, I I try and like, are you going out? I'm doing this XEC thing, so I'm not around. And I said, Oh, what you up to? She said, Oh, all the girls are coming around, they're doing the doom. But she wouldn't do it if I was there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And it's the same. I would I to be fair, I would do it when she's there because I invite people around every weekend in the summer and we sit in the garden and have fun. But she wouldn't do that if I was there. There's no reason why she couldn't. I would never say, if she said, Oh, can I have the girls around this weekend? Yeah, cool, I'll make myself scarce. Yeah, exactly. Or I'll cook for you, um, or I'll go out with the kids or whatever. Like I would always do that, but I think she I don't really know. It's a conversation that I should have with her. Why she doesn't just do it more often? Why it takes me to disappear into a tent in the wilderness somewhere, being attacked by bears? Is there bears in Wales? Yeah, loads. Is there and wolves and wolves, tigers? No, there's no tigers. Uh apparently it's a dinosaur at the moment. No, that's when that's when you get there, mate. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, oh that maybe that's a conversation. Why does it take why does it take for darling? If you're listening to this, sometimes she listens to the episodes. If you're listening to this, why does it take for me to disappear for you to then say, right, I'm gonna invite the girls around? Is that me? Am I giving off the wrong thing? You're not allowed then round, they're all dickheads. Yeah, they're not actually, I get on with a lot of our friends, most of them anyway. Love the way you just threw that in the end there. Oh, yeah, but do you know what I mean? But it it's it's yeah, it's uh why? Why is that? Yeah, and like I suppose what's another scenario? Like, why does it take you've not seen your mates for three years, all of a sudden you're going out with them? Why has it been left that long? Do you reckon?
SPEAKER_03:I think it's just timing, mate. It is timing. Like, I was supposed to go out for dinner last night, but obviously I work on a Thursday night, so I said I can't come out tonight, boys, as simple as that. Like, you know, I don't have a choice. I have to earn the money to pay the bills to be the man I want to be. So it was cancelled, my end. They still went out, but it's difficult when you try and organise what you gotta think of, right? So there's probably eight of us going out, all eight of us, whether we've got kids or not, we've got dogs, we've got wives, we've got families, we've got jobs, we've got responsibilities. So to get eight people that are in their 40s all to agree on a day when it's somebody's not somebody's nan's sisters, cousins, daughters, aunties, brother's birthday, it's impossible. Yeah. I think one of us isn't making it, which is really disappointing because it is he's got to go away for a football day or something like that. Um, but yeah, it's so hard to get those things booked in when you are trying to book in for eight or nine, well I think it might be a couple more than that, but you know, a lot of people at once, it's just impossible because we're not just going to the pub for a pint, we're gonna go and do like darts, like some place, and we're gonna go like bowling or whatever and just get absolutely annihilated at the end of it. But you know, it's it's it is difficult, so there is no reason other than the fact that your lives are busy. Yeah, no, it's tough.
SPEAKER_00:But is it because your lives are busy or is it because you've not prioritised that that is yeah, probably, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going out with your mates is probably more important than your mum's sister's dog's cat sister's funeral.
SPEAKER_00:Going out with your mates that you've not seen in a couple of years, a lot would argue that that's more important than going to work. Do you know what I mean? And that there's a lot of people, I know I couldn't possibly ask for the day off to go and do that. I've um like the things that we and this is what I've learned. Sometimes you've got to you've got to upset someone to make yourself feel better. Yeah. And I don't think that's selfish.
SPEAKER_03:No, to be honest, really my missus says to me, I've changed quite a lot over the last few years. I have become quite selfish. If I don't want to do something now, I'm like, I'm 43 years old. If I don't want to do something, I ain't gonna do it. We've got a thing in my ass. This is like a really arrogant saying, but it is a joke. If I say something to her and she's oh yeah, I say, hey, hang on, come on, listen. What do we say? She's like, You're Chris Stuart, you do what you want. Like, you do you, boo. And that's kind of the way that I I want to be. Like, if I don't want to go somewhere, why should I be forced to go somewhere? Unless it's, you know, like, oh, I'm gonna say this out loud. Unless it's my wife's family or something for a dinner, and I don't particularly feel like going around there because I've had a bit of a crap day, or I might have worked in the morning. You do it because you love your missus and she wants to go and see her family. So you you go out at that, you do that, you do the dinner and stuff. But there's just there's got to be a point where you go, well, actually, you know, why would I go and look see this person when they never make the effort to come and see us? You know, why do we always go there? They never come to us, or why have we got to go and do this? Why can't they do that? And and you just think to yourself, actually, like, I'm I'm a people pleaser. And then you get to that point, which I got to probably about three years ago, where I don't want to be a people pleaser anymore. The only people that I really want to please are the people that I actually care about.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. So it's it's a big thing as well, I think, and as you get older, it's a big thing. And like what m my wife said to me, I don't know how you do it. I said, What? She's like, and and her friends used to think that I was rude. They used to think I was rude, I was arrogant.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not, I just don't I don't want to have a conversation with you.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Like you've got all these people in the school group. You got the they've got these WhatsApp groups for schools, yeah. And they're like, Oh, do you want to be able to no, I don't. I go to the school and I pick my kids up and I leave again. Yeah. I don't see my this is my mate will say this, yeah. His his wife is got in with the school mums and stuff, and it's all lovely and stuff. And he's like, Why would I want to invite them round for a barbecue? I don't even get to invite my own friends. Yeah, yeah. We've had this, I'm sure we've had this discussion already. I've already had this discussion before, but yeah why do you know what I mean? You don't there are people you hello mate, yeah. All right, mate. Yeah, but again, you prioritize yourself. I don't want to invite those people round, I want to invite my people around. Yeah, I don't need more friends, I need to see the ones I've got more.
SPEAKER_03:I've always said before, I've always tried to sort of keep school at school because that's for the kid, you know, like he's school for. Friends are very important to him, but they're just their mums and dads. It's nice to go to parties and say, Oh, hello, like, nice to meet you. I'm Chris, who's daddy you, or who's mummy you, but I like to keep it separate because why should his friend's parents be my friends? Because that's his life. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know, I just I just find the whole situation a bit weird when it comes to schools, to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because you're not like I get it, yeah. So your kids would have your like crews will have it, Ella has it, Ida has it. They have a friend that's been their friend since like the start of school and they'll go through school together. Like, yeah, then I'll become you sort of become friends and you help each other out. Do you need the picked up and I'll pick them up this week and do that? And then you sort of become friends, but you don't need to be friends with every single mum, every single dad in the playground. I want to go there, pick my kids up and get them back with me. Like, do you know what I mean? And that again, people will say, Oh, you're so rude. Oh, you she thinks that you're I'm not rude. If she wants to have a conversation with me, then start a conversation. I don't know you. Oh, how's your how's how's your David? What's the weather like? I'm not interested in that. Look up at the sky. Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it? I'm not interested in that. I'm not interested in whether you're you're I feel like we're we're board like coming across really arrogant here, but this is this is not it at all. I don't think it is. I think it's it's prioritizing yourself. Why spend a day going driving three hours to go to an event you don't want to go to? Why do that? Exactly. Because you're gonna be there, you're not gonna enjoy it when you're there, then you're gonna go home again. And your time's already limited enough, isn't it? And that's it. Like we don't, I'm not it's not arrogance, is it? It's like knowing knowing your worth, knowing your purpose, knowing that you I don't really want to do that.
SPEAKER_03:I think you just get to a certain age. I don't know whether it is an age thing or not, but I I feel like it's maybe at an age where you just think I don't know, like midlife crisis sort of thing. I feel like I'm borderline mine at the moment, where I think actually, like I am halfway through my life, probably a little bit further, maybe. Like, and my my time is very, very important. So why waste it?
SPEAKER_00:And that's it. Like, I don't even I don't know, like and I'm like you've said that now, now you've got my backup that we're coming across as arrogant. I don't want to be arrogant that's that's not me.
SPEAKER_03:No, it it isn't, but it it it could be, it couldn't it? It could be misconstrued to be arrogance, but I think we've explained it well enough for it not to be. Do you know what I mean? But fingers crossed. Yeah, I mean if it is who gives a shit, can we arrogant? No, we're not. Do you know what I mean? It's it's not, it's not an arrogant thing.
SPEAKER_00:So I don't think there's a lot of topic there like prioritise yourself because it's not it's not um it's not selfish, it's not selfish to want to be the best person you can be to show up for the people that you need to show up for. Yeah. And whether that's like like we only get one life. Um and I think that by being a how different would your life change if you could run around a field with crews without being out of breath, if you could go on a bike ride, because the the kids obviously they're they've got a lot more metabolism, they've they're a lot fitter and healthier than me and you who have spent the last 15-20 years sitting around watching TV, drinking beer, and not doing a lot. And it's like James said, I don't want to be the guy that can't do 10 press-ups or 10 pull-ups. I don't want to be the guy that I want to be able to run fast. I want to be my physical not bodybuilder, not this, but physically fit enough should I need to use it. And that's where I'm at at the moment. I want to I'll stick with a boxing. I've set myself a challenge for a year to if I want to, to be able to step in a ring and put up a fight. We could do a white-collar boxing thing, couldn't we? Yeah, don't. Um, but that's that's the challenge I set for my year, for my year for myself, is I want to be better, I want the cognitive function because I enjoy it. And I went to boxing, just knocked, well, not knocked, I wouldn't say tickled 10 shades of shit out of the punch bag. And you see these lads in there that have been doing it for five or six years, and I can't even comprehend how fucking quick they are with everything. But yeah, I think it's important to not just your fitness, I think it's important to prioritize your mental health. If you're if you're feeling shit, then you've got to do something about it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I would say mental health's probably the top priority to be fair, because if your mental health's all over the place, then that's not gonna spur you on to do anything anyway, is it really?
SPEAKER_00:And that's the vicious circle that I've found. If I'm in a bad place mentally, the last thing I want to do is exercise. But if I did exercise, then I'd be in a better place mentally.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And this is like this whole circle of shit.
SPEAKER_03:Eat clean, sleep clean, drink clean, be clean, be clean. Wash yourself your dirty busts. Yeah. That'll be you next weekend, mate.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, man. Like that shower you have when you get home is just gonna be the best shower ever. You watch Tip forget to put the hot water on.
SPEAKER_00:I um yeah, I'm like, it's proper. I lie in bed and I'm like, like I lied in bed this morning and thought, fuck me, in seven days' time, I'm gonna be waking up on a mat in a tent with a guy that I've never met before. Stinking and not sure what you allow to take the adrenaline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What am I doing? I was gonna say 140 old blokes all walking together after three days of little washing, that'll be lost with it. And the thing is, well, we don't know what the weather's doing. Obviously, it's got its own microclimate. Like, so you've got to be um you've got to be prepared for it. I'm having a look now. Oh yeah. Yeah. I don't know what um I looked, but MetOffice won't give me Oh really? MetOffice won't give me ten days. I kind of need ten days. But yeah, it's uh I can't find it anyway.
SPEAKER_03:It's the it's the thing, it's uh 75 mile an hour wind, 27 inches of snow, tiny bit of rain, but a tidal wave.
SPEAKER_00:Also, uh it's not gonna work, is it? Um and a tidal wave, but weather settings.
SPEAKER_03:Um I think you'll be fine though, mate. I think the thing is it's it is a character challenge, isn't it? And I think your character's pretty strong anyway, from from uh from the limited time that I've known you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Obviously, you've been through quite a bit and stuff, and you've done and you do deal with it pretty well. So I think I think being outdoors in the fresh air anyway, I think it'll be brilliant. I'd love to do it. Listen, mate, you'll be having a character challenge in the Breck and Beacons with a load of blokes that'll be your mates by the end of it, and you'll probably talk to loads of them for the next god knows how many years. And we'll get them on the podcast. I'll be at home with a three and a half-year-old screaming child where I have no idea what to cook him for dinner, making for lunch, because I'm useless when it comes to that. My wife will be laying in bed or on the sofa for probably two best starts of two weeks with a bell.
SPEAKER_00:Oh yeah, shit, she's got her up, haven't she?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, with a bell.
SPEAKER_00:Dolly, I need some coffee.
SPEAKER_03:Sorry for you listening to this. Um so yeah, take comfort in the fact that you'll be enjoying yourself to a certain extent, and obviously, I'll be working all through that as well. So um next time I see you, I'll probably look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, even though I haven't. And you will have been dragged through a hedge backwards, probably won't look, you'll be probably quite refreshed, but maybe a little bit windswept.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, no, I'm I'm looking like they say, there's there's no such thing as bad weather, just a bad choice of clothing.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly, and you'll be fine because I know what you've got.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, luckily, my man, the UK broken veteran on Instagram, I'm gonna put his thing in the thing because he's doing some wicked stuff with his laser engraver, and I'll give him a shout out because he's a decent guy. Um, because he was in the military for so long, he knows he's like, help me pack the burger and right, put that in there, put all your cooking stuff in there, like make sure that you clean that out when you've used it, clean everything and put it away as you use it. He said the sleeping bag goes in the bottom because that's the last thing you get out, etc. You don't need it. Um and he's given me all the kit. The trousers, I can't do them up because I should have done a bit of training, but they've got the thing, the straps on, so I can uh I can do them. But the trousers, they're 500 quid. Yeah, the jacket's got eight. Like the boots, uh like I'll I was gonna buy boots for 40 quid off Amazon, and the lads in the group were like, don't do that, mate. Don't do that. But according to the BBC uh the iPhone weather, other phones are available. Um Friday's dry, 716.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's disappointing.
SPEAKER_00:Saturday's dry, 15. Sunday's dry, 15. Oh what? Um hang on a minute. Has it got uh excuse me a minute? But you know that could all change. It could all change. It can all change. It doesn't give me wind on here, I don't think. Uh wind, there we go. Wind, we've got no we've got I spent there'll be a bit after all the baked beans you're gonna eat. On Saturday with gusts up to 20 miles an hour. I don't know what we're eating. This is the other thing, I don't know what we're eating. All I know is that we get given it's all ration packs. So I've got a jet boil and I've got a mess tin and stuff. And we're given five kilograms worth of food.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And then we literally we live with what's in it. I'll be like a snail. Yeah. Like a snail. The bag's big enough. You can't carry all that. I was like, I'm gonna have to.
SPEAKER_03:That'd be the oldest thing on it, can't you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that'll be it. I'll be dragging it. I'd get some wheels on it. But yeah, so uh Yeah, so next when this goes out, I would have done it. Um, because this will go out on the Tuesday, I'll be back on the Sunday at some point, no when. Um so tune in next week to find out if I smash tune in next week to find out if I smashed XCC or if I cried like a baby and went home. Yeah, man, good luck with it all, honestly. But no, it's um I'm looking forward to it, I really am. So should we wrap that one up? Yeah, man. Prioritise yourself, people.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, always take time for you. For you. It's not all about just everybody else all the time. Although it is good to be like that, but just make sure you take some time for yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Should we outro this motherfucker? Shall we? Yeah, let's go. Thanks for listening. I've been Ash. And I have been Chris. And this has been The Untold Podcast. Um go on. Go on, you go. No, you go first.
SPEAKER_02:No, you go, go on, Darren, you go. I'll go on, babe. You prioritise, I prioritise you. Go on.
SPEAKER_00:If you've enjoyed this episode, if you enjoy listening to us, then please subscribe, like, comment, give us your feedback. Um, this isn't the untold phone because it's up there recording. We do have the untold phone and send us WhatsApp, send us messages, send us dilemmas, funny stories, we can keep it anonymous or not. The phone number is 07511 272 459.
SPEAKER_03:Just want to do a big thank you to everybody as well that does listen on a weekly basis, because even though there aren't a massive amount of you, it does make a big difference for our own mentality as well to know that we're doing this and it is actually going out to people. So, big thank you for me and Ash. Also, send some pictures in. We've got a TV on the wall, and we want to get some pictures of people put up there. Yeah, whatever pictures it is, we might put it up, so don't make it too rude.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And yeah, just keep following. Keep we're gonna grow this. Um, we want this to give value to people, so we'll see you next week. Peace out. Thanks for listening. I've been Ash.
SPEAKER_03:And I have been Chris. And this has been The Untold Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:Um go on. Go on, you guys. No, you go first.
SPEAKER_02:No, you go, go on, Darren, you go. I'll go on, babe. You prioritise, I prioritise you. Go on.
SPEAKER_00:If you've enjoyed this episode, if you enjoy listening to us, then please subscribe, like, comment, give us your feedback. Um, this isn't the untold phone because it's up there recording. We do have the untold phone and send us WhatsApp, send us messages, send us dilemmas, funny stories, we can keep it anonymous or not. The phone number is 07511 272459.
SPEAKER_03:Just want to do a big thank you to everybody as well that does listen on a weekly basis, because even though there aren't a massive amount of you, it does make a big difference for our own mentality as well to know that we're doing this and it is actually going out to people. So big thank you for me and Nash. Also, send some pictures in. We've got a TV on the wall, and we want to get some pictures of people put up there.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Whatever pictures it is, we might put it up, so don't make it too rude.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. And yeah, just keep following. Keep we're gonna grow this. Um, we want this to give value to people, so we'll see you next week. Peace out.