The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
Why Struggle Shapes You (Business, Confidence & Real Life)
In this episode we get real about mental resilience — why the tough seasons shape us, how to keep showing up in business when it feels pointless, and getting past the fear of putting yourself online.
Listener dilemmas we tackle:
- Simon (Business): Two years in and it feels like mud. How do you keep going?
- Dimitri (Confidence): Wants to build online but terrified of being judged on camera.
- Brian (Life): Work–bills–family on repeat. How do you find resilience when every week feels the same?
We cover:
- Consistency vs motivation, stacking small wins, and paying “school fees”.
- Starting scrappy on TikTok/YouTube/Podcasting and making peace with judgement.
- Comparison culture vs reality, and why authenticity still wins.
- “Resilience Roulette”: job loss, money stress, public embarrassment — what we’d actually do.
Send your dilemma (anonymous welcome): 07511 272459
If you’re enjoying the show, please follow, rate ★★★★★, and share with a mate.
Hi, I'm Ash. Hello, Chris. And welcome to the Uncle Podcast.
SPEAKER_00:This week, Chris, I thought we could talk about why tough times make tough people. Because it's fucking true, innit? It is true. You need the tough times to shape. Unfortunately, who you are today. You got any stories this week? You've lost your head over something fucking trivial.
SPEAKER_01:There's a lot of them, mate, to be fair. I tried to sell my van yesterday.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Cleaned all the front out, took me about four hours because obviously dusty, dirty van. Made sure it looked all pristine. Got the hose pipe out of the garage, got the jet wash all set up, got the buckets filled up with water. Excuse me? You do know there's a hose pipe van, don't you? Brilliant. Okay, right, I'll stop washing the van then. Before I turn the hose pipe on. So I've got the guy come around and looked at it. Oh mate, yeah, you want to come and have a look? Oh, it's really clean inside, isn't it? Yeah, sorry, I couldn't wash it, mate. It's a hose pipe van. No problem. A few little bits here and there, a bit of cosmetic damage, but inside it looks perfect. It's been serviced every year. Is it right if I just take it around the block, mate? Of course you can, mate. Not a problem. There's the keys. Well, well, well, well. Pure embarrassment, mate. Pure embarrassment. Obviously, I had to stay cool while it was there, but when I went doors, the uh the language was absolutely atrocious. Thankfully, the message in the sun wasn't in, but honestly, you you you couldn't write it, could you?
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_01:Trying to sell something and it doesn't even start. And it started every day for the last 10 years without fail.
SPEAKER_00:That remember I've got a guy coming to look at one of my motorbikes on Sunday. And a guy that's actually coming. Um, and I should probably start that up, shouldn't I? And make sure that starts. Yeah, I would I would definitely take it, take it for a little drive, honey, at least, at least. Even if it's just a goodbye ride, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I fucking yesterday, I've so I've got two motorbikes for sale. Just trying to sell them to I don't use them at the moment, get a bit of money and make myself a bit more happier, comfortable financially. And I've had these bikes on auto trader and everything, it's just full of time wasters. Yesterday, a guy messaged me, so one of them's up for seven and a half grand, yeah. Would you take six? I replied saying, no. I've tried that. I you know, common practice. Do you know what I mean? Maybe going at seven. Yeah. Maybe like, do you know what I mean? So I said to him, look, I said, Superbike factory have offered me six six for it. So why would I take six? Yeah, but this and this, and I'm 66 year old, man, I'll pay what I say I will. And I'm like, I said, listen, I said, I'm not desperate to sell it. I'd quite like to keep it. Yeah. But it just got me thinking, like, what? People. Just people, isn't it? People. I mean, trying his luck on. I would do it, but I don't have the I would never insult someone that's trying to sell something. Unless it's like, do you know what I mean? I wouldn't try and insult someone. What's that? What's that reduction of like 15-20%? I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that, but maybe that's me.
SPEAKER_01:But that's like those people that go to car boot sales, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:You got a price level of five pounds or that. 50p? Yeah. Um so the reason I thought I'd do this episode was because we all want an easy life, but there isn't there's no such thing as an easy life. 2025, mate.
SPEAKER_01:You tell me anybody that's got an easy life, if they say that then they're lying.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that I just can't. Yeah. So let's break it down, really. Um, we had a couple of messages on the untold phone this week. Good, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:We're getting quite a few on there to be fair. I I've I thought we'd struggle with messages to be fair, but it's quite good to see them coming in. Yeah, we've I mean I've we've picked a couple out. Um do you want to yeah, go start? I'll go over the first one, am I? Right. Yeah. Here we go. Right, so we've got Simon J. I'm gonna call him Simon Jordan because he's a famous man. So we'll just we'll just pretend it's Simon Jordan. I don't know what his surname is, but Simon, thanks for your message, mate. Uh I've been running my own business for nearly two years now, and honestly, it feels like I'm dragging myself through mud. You're not the only one, mate, trust me. Uh, everyone online makes it look like success happens overnight, but showing up every day when you're not seeing results is brutal. I think you can relate to this message, mate, to be fair, don't you? Definitely. Uh some mornings I don't even want to open my laptop because it feels pointless. How do you keep going when it feels like the world doesn't care, mate? What a great question that is, to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:It is, it is, and it's um I it's tough because I feel his pain. Yeah. I really do feel his fat pain. And like two years ago, or not even two years ago, two weeks ago, but even now I have these, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Like, and it's terrible, it's killing me inside, but I know that it's just a temporary thing that's going on, and I've been through it before, and I'm gonna go through it again. So it's like it doesn't matter if anyone else cares, you care. And that's what I mean, that's what I would say to Simon is if he was sitting in front of me now, I'd say we all go through it, man. It's part of being business, it's part of you have to take the tough times to to generate the good times.
SPEAKER_02:Definitely.
SPEAKER_00:Um and I've learned it's how we deal with it, it's building that mental resilience to things are not gonna go your way. Like I had a I for example, I had an instance where I've been working on a project for since November last year. We're now October, and there's been so many times where I thought, I'm just gonna message this customer and say, I can't be asked, I can't do it. Because that was me emotionally attached. Yeah, no, I got I got the messages instead, didn't I? Yeah, you got the messages instead as well. Um and I honestly never thought I wiped it out, wiped it out in my head, but I nearly so many times I wrote those messages out and I was like, no, do you know what I'm not gonna send them because I'm trying to teach myself not to be emotionally attached to the business, even though it provides things. And then lo and behold, last week, Ash, we need to place the order, man. And I didn't think, and then I was like, oh my god, I'm so glad that I didn't. I did you just gotta keep going. Perseverance, isn't it? Perseverance and consistency. Um, success doesn't happen overnight. The people, when you're watching people that are look like they're successful, all they've done is they've deleted the 300, they've deleted the life before they became successful, and that's what I will never do because the videos I post, everything we like with a podcast, we're not gonna delete season one just because it was mediocre, we're gonna learn from it and we're gonna grow. Yeah, and I think that's really important to say to Simon that consistency, one step a day, you do do one little thing every single day that makes the next day easier. Have those difficult conversations, be brutal, put structures in place so you can move forward every day. Learn from mistakes. Well, in business, I mean you'll know this, I know this. I've made so many mistakes that have cost me money. Yeah, we put them down as school fees, of course you do, yeah. And learn from them. Provided you learn from them the next day and you don't make the same mistake again, then you should be you fail forward, I think is a good thing.
SPEAKER_01:Um can I just add a bit in? Of course you can. Do you know what? Do you know what? When I was obviously I'm not doing it anymore, but when I had my own business, the thing for me was it was just carrying on every day because I always believe in every every day of your life you've got an opportunity to open a door that you've never opened before. And that door, however small it is, could lead to big things. So when you are struggling, just know that one day that door, it doesn't matter whether it's five minutes or five months, the door will open at some point. When I was doing the decorating, I got a door open for me. Do you want to come into this room? And I went in there and it changed everything for me business wise. Like I was successful within two weeks. So, you know, when you are struggling and when you are feeling really down in the dumps about it, or and you feel like you're persevering and you're not getting anywhere, just be I know like it it's easy to say because it happened to me, but make sure that you are just having that thought process in your head because one day it can literally just change overnight.
SPEAKER_00:And I think as well, like, and I've learnt this my way, is people you say, How are you doing? actually, oh mate, it's tough, I can't be asked. Don't do that, even if that's how you feel, because you attract what you give out, especially in business. If a customer rings you up and you're like, Oh, yeah, and they were gonna give you 50 grand, they're not. Yeah, even though you feel like that inside of a customer, yeah, how you doing, mate? Yeah, no, business is going really well, it builds trust, it builds confidence. If you're like, oh, it's all doom and gloom, obviously, it is, you can have different conversations with different people. But what I've learned is sort of give out what you want to receive back and take opportunities. When I did the thing with, we did the thing with DAPA, and that was because I took an opportunity. I went to one of his gigs, I'd had a few beers, he said, anybody stay around, you want to have a conversation. I said, I'm trying to do this thing, follow me. Followed me a couple of years later. We've had a few conversations, done a bit for the vault in Morden, and then it got invited to his house to do his studio in his garden. That was because I took an opportunity. Yeah, and I think you've got to take every single opportunity because you don't know. You can't judge a book by its cover. I've got a family friend who he's a millionaire, you wouldn't know he was a millionaire. And if he walked into your shop, you might be like, huh, yeah, you're nobody. And I've learnt this as well. He wasn't. Just because he doesn't, just because he doesn't fit the Instagram profile. I've got a designer handbag, designer shoes, designer that people are different.
SPEAKER_01:These are the solemn ones that have actually got the money anyway, isn't it? That's it. So they're not admitting it. Living in fine, yeah, exactly that, mate.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, Simon, keep going, man. You've got this, just yeah, keep consistency, little bit, little bit, little bit. And if you look back on your life over the last two years, you started a business, man. No one, there are a lot of people that are sitting there wishing they'd started your business or in your position. So just keep going and the small wins, celebrate the small wins. Celebrate that you even had a phone call with that potential client. Don't oh, they weren't really interested. You spoke to them, you're on the radar. Keep going, keep going, keep going. And that's what I've learned the last six months. Nice. So we've got another one from Dimitri S. I don't really want to give him a last name. Not that I don't I know his last name, but I don't want everybody. Sorry, Simon.
SPEAKER_01:I shouldn't have done that as a last bit of it.
SPEAKER_00:Sorry, Dimitri. Um so the reason I thought I picked this one out because you're really good at this, because this is what you've done.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So Dimitri says, I keep saying I'm gonna build something online. His feet have thought about podcasts, thought about YouTube channel, even just posting something on TikTok. He said, I can't bring myself to get in front of the camera. He's terrified of people judging him or that he might look stupid. He says, I've seen people smashing it online, and I know I've got great ideas, but I can't take that first step. How can I get past the fear?
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I mean, how brutal do I be? Um I'll be honest with you. So I I I mentor on TikTok and stuff like that anyway, so this is quite an easy answer for me because I've done this quite a lot. First thing you've got to think about is really who the sh who is these people, who are these people that you're worried about taking the piss out of your, you know, um getting in front of the camera and being seen by people and thinking that you're stupid. Like, if they're if you're worrying about what people think about you, they're the wrong people that you should be worrying about at the end of the day. If people moan and groan and they take the piss out of you for doing things, they're not your friends, first of all. Your friends support everything you do. And to be fair, most of the time the people that do take the piss and judge, they're the ones that come to you in a year's time and say, How did you get doing that? Who taught you how to do that? Or is it are you actually making that sort of money doing that? So they actually become the people that want to do it and they're jealous of you. So, first of all, first thing I always say is just grow a pair of bollocks and do it because if you don't do it, you'll never know whether it would work for you. That is, and that goes for what we were talking about you a minute, you a minute ago with the business side of things. You know what I mean? If you don't put yourself out of your comfort zone, you will go to the grave knowing that you haven't put yourself out of your comfort zone, and you will always wonder what if. What's the saying?
SPEAKER_00:You're better to have trialled and failed or never tried at all.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, mate, how many people do you know that have trialled and trialled and trialled loads of different things and failed in everything, and then all of a sudden they've done one thing and it's worked? If I if I I'm honest, I know you're not really supposed to go deep dive into yourself here, but for me, I have had so many stupid ideas over the years, and I've done them to the smallest uh point where I've gone, actually that's a stupid idea. If I'd have carried those ideas on, I probably would have been fairly more successful than I am now. The fact that I started doing TikTok two years ago, and I actually thought I'm gonna go all in on this, it's paid off massively. And I had people take the piss out of me. I had people thinking, why are you you're mate, you're 40? You mean I still do. Well, yeah, exactly. Why are you posting on TikTok? And like don't worry what people think about you. The most important thing in this whole conversation now is to don't give two shits what people think of you. Because the minute you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you, you'll start worrying about what's good for you, and then you'll start to succeed in whatever it is you're doing.
SPEAKER_00:I'm sorry, Jesus Christ, I'm gonna die. No, and I would add something in there as well. And if you're worried about what other people think, you're not gonna be yourself. And I think when it comes to being on camera, and again, I've done this when I first started filming content for the videos. When I first when we first started doing the podcast, I wasn't myself. I'm slowly letting myself be myself because I've got to the point where I want to do this, I want to do it for me. I'm not doing it for Jim, I'm not doing it for Steve, I'm not doing it for my family, I'm doing it for me. And if you're always constantly worried about what someone's gonna think, you're gonna stand on camera, freeze up because in the back of your mind you're worried about what your next door neighbour's gonna think. Exactly. And I think you've got to sort of block those people out and give it a go. Yeah, just put yourself out of your comfort zone, honestly.
SPEAKER_01:If you want to post anything on TikTok, if you want to start a podcast channel up, if you want to do a YouTube channel, just do it.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because nine times out of ten, people want to do things, they never persevere it. That's why most people aren't on TikTok, that's why most people don't do podcasts, that's why loads of people don't do YouTube channels, because they're too scared of putting themselves out of the comfort zone. And you look how many people are successful on all three of those platforms.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Because they've actually persevered with it. This podcast is gonna be successful because we're gonna persevere with it. It's never gonna change our lives overnight, but eventually we'll get to the point where we'll turn up at the studio, we'll have a crew of people with us, and you know, it'll be a big podcast. I believe in that, you believe in that. That's why we're gonna do it, and that's why we're putting ourselves out of our comfort zone. Um just do some research, you know. What's the best way to post on YouTube? What's the best way to start a podcast up? I mean, if you want to learn how to do a podcast, get in contact with us. Do you know what I mean? It's uh we're more than happy to help people out because that's what this whole podcast is all about, isn't it? Um, but yeah, just the first thing you've got to do is just grab a pair. And I know that sounds really harsh, but it is the most important part is just to look at yourself in the mirror and talk to yourself. And once you've done that, you've you've done your post anyway, because that's what you're doing when you're going on TikTok, YouTube, and everything, anyway. You've you've got a camera in your hand, you're looking at yourself, and you're just talking to yourself.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So it's only you're gonna get easy.
SPEAKER_00:I promise you it gets easier. I promise you it gets easy.
SPEAKER_01:Mate, if you'd if you'd see my first TikTok video, my first first TikTok live.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe we'll get it if you got it.
SPEAKER_01:No, I've deleted the account, mate. I had to delete it. I had too many accounts, yeah. It went it went terribly in there like that account, but of for obvious reasons because it was just horrendous. But um the you know, the confidence levels, I wouldn't be able to sit here now and do a podcast with you if I wasn't on the social media for two years, you know.
SPEAKER_00:And that's what I find. A lot of people, when I do the podcast for the business, like I have people in there and they're like, we've never done anything like this before. Uh um, and after a couple of minutes, they're like, that was easy. And at the end of the podcast, they're like, Thanks for making it so first time's always the hardest. It's always the hardest. And they're like, Can I come back? Can I do it? And I remember when I first did my first podcast with someone else, I was petrified. And it was only on the phone, I wasn't even on the camera. I was just on the phone, it was only my voice. I used to hate the sound of my own voice. Now I love it. I can listen to myself all day long, Chris.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I know, I can I I've listened to the voice notes, mate, every day. Um, but you will, you know, one of the good things to do as well is surround like we talk about it all the time, don't you? You become the five people that you're surrounded by. If you want to post on TikTok, YouTube and stuff like that, get involved with people that do all of that because they won't judge you, they'll think you're brilliant, they'll help you out, they'll guide you, they'll support you, etc. Um, you know, and and don't be afraid to step away from those people. You'll you'll meet people during your journey, you'll get to the point where you either get better or they get better, and then you separate yourselves from them, and you know, it's it's all part of the journey.
SPEAKER_00:So um and I guess your inbox is always open, innit? Yeah, mate, yeah. And many people like you are happy to help other people.
SPEAKER_01:Mate, listen, I've got a whole page on TikTok dedicated to helping people, so yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe we'll put it in the bio. Shameless plug there from the book.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, nice, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Keeping it social UK the fear doesn't go away, you just learn to move with it. Well, this is it, mate. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the quotes. And then the last one, listener things, because I thought this was quite good. I thought this was quite relevant. This is from a guy called Brian, and he says, Life just feels like a constant treadmill. Work bills, family stuff, rinse and repeat. I get through the week, but I'm knackered all the time, and I feel like I'm not really living. Everyone on Instagram seems happier, fitter, richer, and I'm just here trying to keep my head above water. How do you find resilience when life just feels like groundhog day? Mate, what a thing that is.
SPEAKER_01:Do you know what? Life is a treadmill. It is. 100%. It doesn't matter whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Like when you go to the gym, you don't run at 15 mile an hour straight away, do you? No. You start up at two or three mile an hour, you have a little warm-up, then you get a bit faster, then you slow down again.
SPEAKER_00:It's basically that's your day-to-day life, isn't it? And then you go down a hill and then you go up a hill and then it's faster, and then you feel like you're about to die, but you press on.
SPEAKER_01:But that's the it's all it is all relative though, isn't it? Like a treadmill makes you fitter, so if you run faster, you become fitter. If you if your brain is working really hard, it your brain learns to cope with certain mechanisms a lot easier. And so I've never thought of it like that, to be fair. It's actually a really good way of putting it.
SPEAKER_00:But and I think that the thing is as well, is as I think that there is a hell of a lot of people that are in Brian's position. Like I some of my mates, and they're they're all they're all very successful, they've got decent paid jobs, they've got two income families, their their kids have grown up, they go, they're still struggling, they're still struggling, and a lot of it boils down to finance. Of course it does, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Have you ever actually sat down and worked out your how much money you pay out every month?
SPEAKER_00:No, I don't want to.
SPEAKER_01:I did it the other day, mate. Honestly, it does it it's it's worth doing. All I know is more goes out than comes in.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And that's why I'm trying to sell the motorbikes and free up a bit of cash.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I all I would say to that is just don't don't feel like you're on your own, because you're definitely not. It happens to everyone. I mean it happens to me, it probably happens to you, the next person to walk down on the street, even even if they've got big smiles on their faces, the treadmill sometimes is is at snail speed or sometimes it's a hundred mile an hour, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And I I think as well that we've sort of lost authenticity. There's a like people only post 90 I would go as far as saying 95% of the people that post on social media only post the good times. So you're only seeing a highlight reel. You're seeing them on the private jet. You're not seeing the business deal that fell through and is about to send them skin. They've paid for that private jet out of money they didn't have. They've bought them nice cars, they've they're mortgaged up to the eyeballs and stuff. That doesn't mean that they're any better off than you. You're just not in a position that they're in. And there's a lot of people that want authenticity now, and that's again why we want to do this podcast, because we're just we're just two lads trying to do what we do every time. I'm not a lads.
SPEAKER_01:I'm a geezer, yeah. That's what people are. People say I'm a bit of a geezer, so I'm gonna stick to that one. But on that though, what you just said, Elon Musk is not on Instagram for that exact reason. I watched the reel this morning on Instagram, funny enough. Um, and uh he's not on Instagram because he thinks that everything on Instagram is a lie.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Every post on Instagram is just people pretending that their life is amazing when actually people's lives are pretty shit at the moment.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and for him to say that, he owns it, doesn't he?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, like it's it's obviously a big thing, you know. It's it you you can't look at other people's lives all the time and think everything is rosy and you're on your own because you're not at all. Absolutely not at all.
SPEAKER_00:You're not, and I I think it's uh like speak to people again. It's like we've said before. Um, there's a guy, Sam Thompson, does a podcast called uh podcast called Different Hats. He's got this big thing at the moment, are you alright, mate? And there's loads of people, and it's brilliant, it's just a simple thing. Just message your mate, are you alright, mate? Doesn't need to mean anything. Hopefully, we'll get Sam on the podcast in a couple of weeks because I want to learn more about it and the the reasons behind it. But yeah, he's got this thing, are you alright, mate? Just me and this can apply to anybody. Are you alright, mum? Are you alright, dad? Are you alright, brother? Are you alright, sister? Are you alright, work colleague? I've noticed you've been a bit down recently. And this is the thing, like, there's so much divide and so much negativity going on. We as people come together, realize that. Oh, I'm posting that look at oh, he's got such a nice new card. It's on the never never, mate. Exactly, yeah. It's on the never never. Like, and that's the thing I think is sort of learning that that's the case.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but I this is gonna pain pain me to say it. I actually shared it on on my socials the other day, but uh we should all know that I'm a Palace fan. Brighton Hove Albion football club, they posted a thing the other day. Two geezers went to a football match. Have you seen it? Yeah, yeah, brilliant. What a post. I mean, I hate the football club, but at the same time, what an amazing thing to post. Like a very, very good post. That's why I shared it again and you know it's it fan football out of it, that was an amazing thing to post. So, and that is literally purely at the end. Are you alright, mate? I've noticed you've been a bit off lately, and and very important that you do that. I mean, we do it all the time, don't we?
SPEAKER_00:So that that video when I saw that video, it literally gave me emotions just watching that video.
SPEAKER_01:If you haven't seen it, just search it, just like Brighton O'Valbion and Metal Wealth, it'll come up. It's a really, really good video.
SPEAKER_00:And I think I think it's important. Like, obviously, w women talk a lot more, don't they? Women talk a lot more than than men do. Um my mate sent me a um thing the other day. He sent me a TikTok or something he downloaded, and it was a podcast clip from someone else saying, Your real mates will call you your real mates will be the ones that are nice to you probably aren't your real mates. Yeah. So I forwarded it onto my mates and said, Right, you bunch of. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I didn't get that funny enough. No, you can't. I was gonna save it for the podcast. Don't. You'll get it in a minute. Can you get me a cab, please? I'll send it now. So yeah, so thanks, Brian, for one taking the time to reach in. I think it's a really life does feel like Groundhog Day, and you're definitely not alone because I feel the same. Um try and build a mental resilience, try and look at why you're feeling the way you're feeling. Um and it will get better. It's a blip, it's a temporary, it's a bit of road works, yeah. A bit of road works in your journey, mate. Um same with everybody, same with same with Dimitri. Just keep going, man. Just do it. Just get up and do it, and then Simon, keep going, man. You've got this, definitely.
SPEAKER_01:So I like that segment, actually. I quite like that. Yeah, it was good.
SPEAKER_00:Listen, what do you think? Should we should we keep that in? Because that's our real life stuff, and it gives us a talking point. Um so right. Mental resilience, building toughness, and why do tough times create tough people? Because let's be honest, you can't go through life riding on your magical unicorn with money flooding at you and all the things that you want. It just doesn't happen, does it?
SPEAKER_01:No, they're they're quite expensive to feed unicorns as well, to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:So I had to get rid of three of mine, yeah, yeah. Because they're costing me a fortune. I've only ever had one, to be fair. Oh mate, I have three, see. I have three. And then last year I went to Eleven Areaf. Yeah. I bet you've never been there.
SPEAKER_01:No, no, no, but I do know a lot of people that go there, to be fair.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Um so I mean there's plenty of times in my life. Obviously, I've said it before on a podcast, closing down a 25-year-old family business, owing a quarter of a million pounds, having two grand in a bank. That was a very dark time. Um, and I'll still go back to that. And this is what changed that I needed to learn how to change the way of doing things was when we was I was away in Latagna in France with my whole family, my brother, my sister-in-law, my mum, my dad, my kids, my wife. We were in France. Best place, my most happiest place. I was skiing, I was this, but I was crying, going out skiing on my own in fucking floods of tears, trying to listen to podcasts and get myself out of it. And I hated myself for feeling the way I felt. So I came back and I did something about it. And ever since then, I've sort of trained my brain to realise that at the time I thought the whole world was gonna come crushing around me. Two and a half years later, I'm in a better place. It was tough, it was hard, but we got through it. And I think you go through all the things, if you look back at all the things in your life that you thought was gonna tear you apart, it could have been a might have been a relationship when you were young. I remember splitting up with my first sort of proper girlfriend, and I was in bits for years, for years and years. I was like, oh, I just want her back, I want her back. But like now I'm yeah, yeah, proper male. But now I'm like six. I learned now I was four, mate. I was four. I was proper throwing crackers around at nursery and everything, all the toys went out the pram. But you look back on all these things that you thought were gonna break you in life, and they didn't, did they?
SPEAKER_01:I love all the things that have happened to me. Honest, genuinely, genuinely. I like if you if I sat down and gave you my life story, you'd probably sit there with your mouth wide open and dribbling all over the place, not in a nice way. Um, but I'm glad it all happened because it's made me who I am today. I'm a I I'm a very good dad, you know, to my little boy. And I I was obviously the it's very difficult to be a really good dad to children that you don't live with, so um possibly not as good a dad for them. Um but my son is taught me to be a very, very current parent that wants to be part of my son's life constantly. I feel like I'm a good husband because I've made mistakes in my past that allow me to sort of understand my wife and want to work with her rather than against her all the time. Um things that happened with my parents, they allowed me to not want those things to happen to my relationship and stuff. So I think it's good to go through a lot of shit, if I'm honest. And it might that may sound really weird because we all want the perfect life, but the perfect life doesn't exist. It doesn't. And if you don't go through those things, you just float through life thinking that everything's hunky-dory, and then when something does happen later on in life, like you might lose one of your parents or something like that, you're not geared up for it at all. And it can be, I mean, I thankfully I've still got my parents here, but I could imagine it could be very, very bad. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, um, so yeah, I I I think it's I've I I actually prefer my life, and my wife finds it strange. Like if when I she'll listen to this and she'll be that you're like, Oh, you're weird, you're so weird, but I genuinely much prefer to have hard times in my life because otherwise, when you have the good times, they just feel like normal times, don't they?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know, like and I just wouldn't want to feel normal. I think normal's boring.
SPEAKER_00:I think though as well, when you're when you're in the bad times, you won't say the same thing. No, of course not. This is the thing, when you're in the bad times, and this is what sort of I'm trying to train my brain to to know right, this is a bad point in your life, this is a bad, what can we do to get out of it? Instead of wallowing in my own shit, basically, and that's something that's it's really difficult to do because we take everything on, we internalise everything. Um but now I'm sort of slowly learning to deal with it in a different way to like I would have done two years ago. Yeah. Um my mum's doing this thing at the moment with the family because my mum's like NLP coach, hypnotherapist, all sorts, and now she's retired living in Spain around the port every day, like living her unicorn life that she's worked so hard to get to. She's been doing these voice notes, and the other day she said, Thoughts aren't real. She did this voice note. She said, Thoughts aren't real. They're just it's a thought, it's not real, it's not coming to life, it probably won't. But the brain goes into fight or flight and it says, Oh shit, worst case scenario is coming your way. Nine times out of ten, it doesn't. But we do need the tough times. Yeah, I mean that's where I am very lucky.
SPEAKER_01:Like, I'm very I'll cry at a Blueie, the cartoon. Like, do you know what I mean? That'll that'll that'll make me well up because I'll think that's a lovely thing. Like, you'll watch it and it's it's really lovely, but I won't cry at really bad things because I've built my mental resilience up, and everybody's different. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that everybody can be mentally resilient and not cry at big things, but I think the way that you train your brain through your life to get to an adult is very important, and some people don't get to train their brain because they're they're abused or they're bullied or whatever, you know, so they're they're forced into this horrible situation as a young child. Um, but it is it is it that is so true. Like, your thoughts are only thoughts, 99.9% of them never come true. So I I know that you know, whereas we'll have a conversation at home and we'll be like, right, okay, um, we've got a thousand pounds coming out tomorrow, but we've only got 800 quid in the account. I know that that 800 quid is going to pay most of those bills, and I'm not bothered about the other ones because I'll pay them the next day if I haven't got the money. Whereas my wife will go, Oh my god, we yeah, but what if oh my yeah, we what if this happens, what if that happens? It's not a bad thing that she's. Like that, because that's the way that her brain has been trained. But mine is it will get sorted out, it's not a big issue. For me, a big issue is if there's something wrong with my family that I can't control, that's my issue. Do you know what I mean? Um, but yeah, it's it it life is hard, man, isn't it? Not only are you getting shafted by everybody around you, you shaft yourself. Yeah, that's the hardest part about it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. We beat ourselves up. We built ourselves up, we put so much pressure on ourselves that we'll put pressure on ourselves to get more listeners for this podcast. We put pressure and they're oh wow, we're not getting the listeners that we feel that we deserve. Just keep going. We're just gonna keep going with it. And then hopefully next week we'll have 11, a week after we'll have 12.
SPEAKER_01:But that'll go that goes for everything in life. For anybody listening, that's everything. Doesn't matter what it is, even if you're you want to run faster, you can't you've got to train to run faster. If you want a better business, you've got to work hard to get a better business. Yeah, look at my TikTok story, right? Not one sale in eight months. Everybody gave up, was going, You're an idiot. Why are you still doing it? Persevered, it's now my career.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:You know? Um, and it you just gotta carry on going, even when the tough times are hitting you. As long as you believe in what you're doing, I strongly believe that you can you can pretty much do anything.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I said it to my um I took my boy to a boxing class last night. I've been to two boxing classes this week. Yes. It's time to get a go. I thought he looked a bit older last week, to be fair, yeah. Bash someone up. Yeah. Um and he's really good. He used to go when he was a kid. When he was like, he must have been like 11, 12, we used to take him to the same boxing club. And we went in there yesterday, 17, and I was like, oh, this'll be fun. I'm fucking battering around a little bit, that 38-year-old. Jesus Christ, the kid. And I said to him, I said, look, you could you could be what the other kids in the gym that have been going since you've stopped going, you could be doing that. Wouldn't you like to do that? Be fighting. I said, You could. He said, could I? Do you think I could? I said, Yes, mate, you could. And then he said to me, I said, Look, I'm terrible on the pads. Like, I need to my cognitive function and like hand up. He was like, Dad, you're so bad at this, you're so bad at this. And we're laughing, we're having a laugh and that. But it was really nice. And I said to him, You can do this. I said, I will I will sponsor you to do it, I will pay for you to do it because it'd be really good for you. Put a bit of effort in, and it's good for you. Yeah. And I I'm trying to get out of going home and like putting the PlayStation on or something, just sort of scrolling through TikTok to switch off real life by swapping it with going to the boxing gym two, three days a week. Because I enjoyed that. And I think that's something that I was going to put a segment into this. What have you done this week, Chris, to make next week better? Good job you didn't. It would have been a short segment. But no, but that but that I think that that's and I heard that from someone else. What have you done today to make tomorrow better? What have you done this week to make next week? Do you know what I mean? And I think that's a if you could do one thing every day, like Stephen Bartlett says, do one thing, one percent, the little one percent things, like the Alan analogy he uses, is it's easy to brush your teeth every day, but it's also easy not to brush your teeth every day. Yeah, but if you don't brush your teeth every day in six months' time, you've got a bigger problem to deal with. Quite like that analogy. But we're not gonna, he's not gonna be a guest. It's a bit harsh. Don't you like him? I love him. I think he's an inspirational guy. I think he's fantastic, and I've learned a hell of a lot from him. Um before we wrap this up, let's give a this could be quite a good one actually. Um let's give a so uh tomorrow, Chris. You've uh you've lost your job. How are you gonna deal with it?
SPEAKER_01:Uh probably sit and watch Jeremy Carl or something, because I haven't got a job anyway, to be fair. Um what would I do? Um well I'd just start doing what I do again, really, to be fair. Because it's it's an easy thing. Social media is easy to get go to get going again. But it if I if I lost my job tomorrow and I was still doing what I did six months ago, I would probably sit down for 24 hours and have a real good deep dive into my thought process because I'm 43 years of age, and and and if I wasn't gonna do something for the rest of my life that I enjoyed, then I'd have to do something that paid really well. Do you know what I mean? Um really hard question, mate. That actually, to be fair. You could have put that one on me earlier on, so I had some sort of idea of what you were gonna ask me. Um what would you do? And then and we'll come back to me because it's tough, because I obviously I'm I'm I'm a I'm a sofa surfer most of the time. I do sit on the sofa quite a lot thinking about content ideas and stuff. So um you've got a proper job. What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and lost your job?
SPEAKER_00:Um if I woke up tomorrow and lost my job and everything disappeared, I again would take it as a blessing. Not not obviously it's a difficult time to go through. It's a diff- I mean there's a lot of people being made redundant at the moment. Yeah. Um there are very, very limited amount of jobs and so many people looking for them. So I'd probably look outside the box, but what can I do? How can I stand out? Like what how can I if if I am gonna apply for another job, if I do want another job, then how am I gonna stand out instead of just sending a cover letter and a CV saying, Can I have this job? I'd wanna and I'd think about what I really want to do because it's like when I closed the business down, it was like a reset period in my life. There would be a lot of people that have been in the job, they might have been made redundant, but they've got a severance pack, they've got a payout, so they've got a bit of money. Deep dive into it. Try not to beat yourself up over it, not get out of bed in the mornings just because you lost your job, because it could be try and find a positive in it. Yeah, and I think that's what I that's what I would do. Six months ago I wouldn't. Six months ago, I'd be destroying myself from the inside out. Whereas now I just want to yeah, just like I don't know, look, recess, sit back and have a look from an outside perspective.
SPEAKER_01:The world is changing, isn't it? There is a lot more opportunity, but different opportunity that people don't know is actually out there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So that's why I said I'd take a 24 hours to actually have a bit of a deep dive in what is available and what I want to do, really.
SPEAKER_00:You're never too young, you know you're never too young to earn a new to learn a new skill.
SPEAKER_01:No, exactly. There's companies out there that'll pay you to learn AI and stuff as well. So you know, it's it's definitely definitely stuff out there if you've if you do come a cropper. Um I suppose you'd have to just first of all, realistically, just get any job. Because your bills typically need to be paid, don't they? Yeah. Um but I would probably do a part-time job so that I could think about in my spare time what I actually want to do in my life. Um, but yes, it that that's quite a deep that is a deep question, actually. Very deep one. It is a deep question. Um I've quite enjoyed that, mate. Yeah, no, it's been good, hasn't it? I like I do like the segment at the start, I'm not gonna lie. So if anybody's listening and you've got any questions or anything, make sure you're firing in as you're gonna do the telephone number in a minute because I've got no idea what it is.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um but yeah, make sure you make sure you give us some more of those guys if you want if you have got questions and you want to ask things for that. And it could be anything.
SPEAKER_00:Do you know what I mean? It hasn't got they were quite they were quite good today, and I sort of thought because we're doing because life's tough, we need to the tough tough times make tough people, um, and it's just part of life. So I thought they were quite good with there was a few more which we'll put in next week. So sorry if you sent stuff in and we haven't read it. We don't want to make these episodes three or four hours long, even though we probably could. Yeah. Um one more question, one more question, uh, just to wrap it up on. Um what would you uh if you was uh founding sort of some sort of public embarrassment? You must have had some public embarrassment in your life. I've had plenty of it, mate. How rude do you want to go? How um you obviously back then, whenever it happened or whatever it was, I'll do one. So when I was 14, we're going back. Yeah. 14, 15, no, it was 15, I think. Um, the girl that I was besotted by in secondary school invited me to her party. I said to my mum and dad, yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. They went and bought me and my mate four WKD blues. And I was like, what am I gonna do with that? So I nicked a bottle of PIMS out of the bureau. We had bureau thing in the corner, the little alcohol cup. Nicked the bottle of pims, went to the party, nicked the nicked the WKDs, went to the party, um, then decided to nick the bottle of pims because pims isn't that tastes quite nice actually. Yeah, it's right, yeah. Nicked the bottle of pims. I reckon by help of state, they were having to phone my parents because I'd thrown up all over the house. Nice, and that was 14, I'm now 38. Yeah, and on my birthday on Facebook, I still get messages from her saying, Happy birthday, Pims boy. Nice. But at the time, I thought my life was over, and especially the first ever hangover you've had, throwing up everywhere. Your parents have had to pick you up from the coolest party in the school. Like, but it happened, yeah. And I'm still here today to tell the story. So public embarrassment is it happens, it'll you'll get over it. Like that time you got drunk and did something you shouldn't have done in a pro Most of it's round drinking, isn't it? Yeah. Most of the public embarrassment you got any.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I I've got a really good one actually. Um, funny enough, we drove past the house the other day and I pointed it out to my wife again. So when I was decorating, um, this was a long time ago now. You got caught in a knicker dry. I was uh well no, I had my knickers out basically. You're nearly there without even telling you the story. So I got asked to decorate someone's bedroom. And uh when I went there, I I got all the stuff out. It was like the second day on the job I was gonna finish. It was a Saturday morning. Just went back to finish a uh I think it was one wall. So I sheeted everything up, got everything ready, got the paint out. I put the five-litre brown spanking pot of paint on top of the stepladders, and then I was going up and down the stepladders and cutting in. Rather than use a kettle that you pour your paint in, so it's easy to do. I just thought I'd be lazy and do that. Anyway, it was about 10 o'clock in the morning. This family had two daughters, you know, they were about 20, 21 years of age, fairly attractive. Um, so I was in there painting away, lifted the dust sheet, lifted the stepladders up, put them back down again, and the mum came in. She said, Oh, can I just grab my charger cable? I was like, Yeah, no problem. She's grabbed the charger cable, pulled the dust sheets up, so they're all rolled up behind the stepladders, gone out of the room. So I'm just carrying on. I've lifted up the stepladders again, and it's got caught on the dust sheet. So this five-litre tub of paint has decided to come full speed towards my body. Well, out of reactions, I've put my knee up as quick as I could to stop it, punted the whole five-litre tub up in the air. It's gone from my chin down to my toes, the whole five litres of this blue paint emulsion all over me. The dust sheets come away, brand spanking new oak flooring. So I'm like, oh shit, what do I do? So I'm I'm getting all the dust sheets, I'm trying to scoop all this paint up into the middle of the dust sheets. I'm taking all my clothes off because it's dripping all over the floor. And I've stood there with paint all over my chin, all down my arms, naked, other than a pair of boxer shorts that were fairly small, and obviously men's boxer shorts that you wear to work with holes all in them. Uh, and I've stood in this bedroom. What do I do now? They are literally in the dining room next door, it was a bungalow. So I'm thinking, right, what do I do? I've got to walk through that dining room to go anywhere. So, what does any man do? He walks into their dining room in his box of shorts while they're sitting there eating breakfast. I was like, um, I've had a bit of an accident. Well, thankfully, I got on with the family. I'd worked there before, so they they the first thing they did was just absolutely piss themselves laughing. They came in, all four of them were in there, they were mopping the floor out of them out. There's me still in my boxes, there's blue paint dripping off my chin. And uh, I had to drive home in my boxes. The dad was like, Oh, do you want to borrow some clothes? I was like, No, I'm not getting them ruined, like, I've made enough damage here, like I'll just drive home. Drive home, and uh, I got to the set of traffic lights. There was like a dual-lane set of traffic lights, and I looked up, and the lorry driver is just looking down at me. And his look on his face was just like, What are you doing? I just owned it, I just took my thumb up, right mate, like you've been eating out of smoke. But it was funny, you know. At the time I I've never been so embarrassed in my life, but I love telling the story now because even though when it happened, I was thinking, oh my god, this is the worst thing that could happen. I've put paint all over their brand new floor, and this is gonna cost me five grand to get it all replaced, my clothes are ruined, the dust sheets are gonna cost me another 500 quid to replace because it was all top-notch, like plastic back dust sheets and stuff. But actually, in the big scale of things, it was nothing, was it? No, it was funny. It's a funny story, you know. So it's a it's a good sort of thing for life, really. Everything that happens in your life, no matter how bad it seems, even the worst situations, one day won't be the worst situation in your life. So everything life has to go on, then it doesn't matter whether it's a funny story or a sad story. Life does go on, and and whether you are I mean, I'm gonna go down the mental welfare route now. So if if you any if you ever get to a point where you're struggling or whatever, and you're you're upset and you think it's the worst part of your life, everything always gets better. Always gets better, you know.
SPEAKER_00:So and you've probably been through worse.
SPEAKER_01:Oh god, mate. I could have come up with a story that was sat you crying, so uh I know how emotion you are, so I didn't I thought I'd not do that. Yeah, yeah. Kind of a good friend like that, mate.
SPEAKER_00:So I'm um yeah, I just cry all the time. No, I'm alright. I'm better now. He doesn't he doesn't really, I was just joking. I think that we're really well, kind of a little bit of a new format. We're talking about again. We're trying on this podcast to make it valuable for everybody that listens from our own point of view. We're not perfect. Um, I'm definitely not. No, I just asked my missus, she says I'm not so so you can't bubble wrap life, Chris. And you need the cuts and bruises to build you. Bubble wrap pops anyway, innit? Well, that's it. No more unicorns. I'm gonna go and try and sell the other one tonight. Um, and yeah. Sweet. Thank you for listening, everybody. Thank you so much, guys. Get in touch. It comes in the extra outro, extra outro, um 07-511-272-459. Send us your dilemmas, send us what's going on, we can keep it completely anonymous. Let's have a bit of fun. Yeah. And we'll see you next week. Take care. Peace. So it's goodbye from Chris. It's goodbye from Ash.
SPEAKER_01:And we've been the Untold Podcast. And if you like what you're listening to today, guys, please do like, subscribe, and share the life out of this podcast so we can get it out to as many people as possible.
SPEAKER_00:And for season two, we want you to be involved. So we have the untold phone. Please send us funny jokes, dilemmas, anything you want to 07 511 272 459. And who knows, maybe we'll feature you in the next show.