The Untold Podcast
UNTOLD Podcast is where business, family, and life collide—raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest. No fluff, no fake success stories—just real conversations about the highs, the struggles, and everything in between.
The Untold Podcast
Women in Business Pt.3 | Owning Your Space, Saying No, and Making It Work
In the final part of this special series, we talk confidence, comparison, and carving out a space where you don’t have to play small to succeed.
This one’s all about:
- Saying no to the wrong clients
- Letting go of people who don’t get it
- Being unapologetically YOU
- And why you don’t need to “make it”—you just need to live well
It’s a rallying cry for women to stop waiting for permission. You don’t need it.
I didn't have that community support. I didn't think I did, but it turns out I did.
Speaker 2:I really struggle with authority working under people.
Speaker 3:Consistency pays off.
Speaker 1:In the moment of those lows, you forget that actually for that one low moment there was ten wins, but you forget those. You can't be for everybody and I just think put out what you want to attract.
Speaker 3:Sometimes, as a business owner, fixing a mistake gains you a new customer today's episode is sponsored by closer, the app that helps you discover exclusive local deals right here in sussex. Whether you're after a pint, a haircut or a last minute gift, closer shows you where to go and what you can save, all from the comfort of your phone. It's free to download, easy to use and packed with offers from the best spots around. Download the Closer app today from the App Store. That's C-L-O-S-R. Save money, support local with Closer. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the untold podcast, social media. And does it ever? Do you ever compare like comparison? Do you ever compare yourself to other people because of these highlight reels and think, oh, why is my life not like that? And then take a step back and be like hold on, my life is like that. If I only ever posted the good bits.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm quite good at seeing that. I don't let social media trick me into thinking I'm not doing a good job as a mother and as a business owner. I I know full well I could make a reel now of all the best bits of my kids and look like a dream mother. I know I could same with the business. I could pull apart all the best things that happened to me in the last eight years in that shop and make it look like I am smashing it. But, um, I'm, I'm not tricked into thinking I'm not as good as the next person. I know full well I'm not the best paid florist, but I know full well I'm not the worst paid florist. I know I'm not the best florist and I know I'm not the worst florist. But I've got a space and I'm filling it well and I've got the clientele that I want. Um, I wouldn't take, I wouldn't say no to more, but I'm not.
Speaker 2:I won't be tricked into social media making me not feel good enough do you think that's like partly our age group, though, because we've kind of grown up without? It without social media? Yeah then, with it, I Off social media. Yeah Then with it.
Speaker 1:I worry for the kids now. Yeah, not knowing any different because they're growing up thinking that these things are normal and I constantly have to remind the kids that what they see online is not. It's not life, it's not real, and they could make it look like that for them as well, but it's not real.
Speaker 2:Definitely Social, it's not real, definitely Social.
Speaker 1:You've got to use it in the like. Social media is one of the best ways for me to sell. I make most of my marketing is on social media and a lot of my sales come off the back of social media and stuff I've posted. And 90% of my weddings will come in. Because they saw one of the weddings I've done online and my subscriptions, or I've never marketed my subscriptions anywhere other than social media, so all my subscription clients are off social media. Um, and people tagging me when people are asking for recommendations. That's how?
Speaker 3:yeah, that's how.
Speaker 1:Danny found me was when she asked if there was a florist and it you know. There was lots of people recommending me on social media. So I see social media as a really positive thing for my business. I don't do social media so much for a personal. I don't have a personal Instagram. I use social media for business. But I don't think I'm tricked into thinking that's real life when I see these things on social media about all these success stories.
Speaker 3:And I think the world is coming more inviting to authentic content yeah now the way things have changed. Obviously, before, if you wanted to put an advert on telly 50 000 pound plus the camera crew, plus this to create a 30 second ad you can now do it from your phone. Yeah, you'll relate to people and you'll build super fans.
Speaker 2:Yeah, from being authentic yeah, people want raw and people don't want to see the highlight reels anymore, like, and I think that is might be our age group as well even more, so like because we don't quite lucky that we've seen it.
Speaker 2:The world with and without social media the kids to see all this like highlighting reels, and yeah, we don't want that, we want people well, I don't want them to look at it and think my mum doesn't do that with me but also, like you know, I've noticed a lot of my instagram feed is is turning out to be obviously I follow lots of home renovations and garden renovation, things like that home lifestyle and a lot of it that appeals to me and the algorithm has figured out appeals to me is really sweary blokes, just trying really hard to make something look good, yeah, and winging it. That's what I really really like. I really like that personally and I would. I yeah also you.
Speaker 1:I think you'll attract what you put out. So I my shop. Sometimes I've had some quite like rude edgy signs in my shop, like that a bit not like sweary but a bit edgy, and I had someone come and complain to me once because I had an, a board outside my shop and it said something along the lines of it was something about encouraging a man to buy a wife flowers. And she came in she said I find that really offensive. Why, why can't I buy myself flowers? Oh, and I was like well, you can, you know, karen, you can buy yourself flowers. I wasn't aiming that board at your husband, if you want to buy yourself flowers.
Speaker 1:Buy yourself flowers. I am here for it, like it's just. It's just an off off the cuff. You know, tongue-in-cheek comment funny and 90% of people walk past and I could hear people giggling as they walk past this a board and I quite often put funny a boards outside the shop and that one person and she walked out and I just thought you are not my customer yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm not gonna take that you are not my customer.
Speaker 1:You don't get me and I don't. I just. I just just that whole personality clash. You can't be for everybody and I just think put out what you want to attract, cause I'm out for like fun, stylish, artistic people, even if they're not artistic themselves but can appreciate something a little bit different. That's not like, um you know, into flora type or supermarket style flowers. They're unusual, my flowers, they cost a little bit more but they'll last longer and they're unusual. You won't get what you're going to get and someone will know you've got that from a florist, and a good florist, and not just from the station like you can't. No one's going to wonder if you spent five quid on that. You didn't.
Speaker 2:They're going to know you spent decent money on that, okay your flowers for client gifting yeah, because for me it's free marketing, because the thoughts gone into it, yeah, but also because your flowers are so different yeah, and I mean, I can even give kelly a brief and say their bathroom was pink and red. Yeah, for example. Yeah, and she'll go all right, cool, let me put something together and some of the clients will be like, oh my god, you've chosen all the colors from my bathroom like there's that little bit of extra thought that actually didn't cost anymore.
Speaker 1:That tiny little bit of thought didn't cost anymore, but it had big impact, like it was valuable and they're sitting on their kitchen counter and then their best friends coming.
Speaker 2:I love those flowers, where'd you? Get those bathroom designer my bathroom designer sent them to us.
Speaker 3:It's free marketing, yeah, yeah oh yeah, it's it's amazing it's, and it's just like you say you've got a space and your're owning your space yeah you don't, you're not gonna ever be everyone's cup of tea, and if you're trying to be everyone's, cup of tea.
Speaker 1:You're gonna fall on your ass. Yeah, you are.
Speaker 3:You've got to choose your, your target audience and just do it well if you follow, if you follow picked another florist and done everything that they did, it's not gonna work yeah, no it's not if you picked another ripple showroom and had it identical to what.
Speaker 1:They wouldn't work. It wouldn't work. People want to see personality. They want to see and, like you said right at the beginning, people buy into you as a person as well.
Speaker 2:All my consultations for my bathrooms is about them trying to figure out if I'm for them. Just as much as can we work together you know, we get along together. Do you think I get you? And you know, normally I've got a great read on people. Normally I do get them and but some people you just they just, you just don't, and it just, there's just something there.
Speaker 1:Would you turn around a job if you felt that they like not so much seeing red flags but just thought we, we don't vibe. Would you there?
Speaker 2:have been a couple yeah, that um, where I've have also had to teach this to our designer as well, where I've been, like you know what, don't be afraid to this is probably going to cause us more problems than it's worth down the line because this it's just not quite.
Speaker 2:They don't quite get what we're doing yeah and we can't seem to quite get what they're asking for, and that doesn't happen very often, yeah, but sometimes you just can't quite get what we're doing. Yeah, and we can't seem to quite get what they're asking for, and that doesn't happen very often, but sometimes you just can't quite get that. That was a turning point for me in my career was learning when to say no.
Speaker 1:No Like not saying yes to every job.
Speaker 3:It's a really nice thing though, isn't it yeah?
Speaker 1:To be able to do it.
Speaker 2:See, I don't think we're not at that point I haven't been doing it.
Speaker 1:I have to take what I can, yeah but if I know, but you will get to that point in my gut.
Speaker 2:Going back to the gut thing again. Yeah, I know in my gut that it's just not gonna go right the juice isn't worth the squeeze yeah, yeah, then I will just be like you know what, we'll just let that one naturally fizzle out, yeah, and you know, we'll just call that one a day and that's fine, that's okay.
Speaker 1:It's okay to let things go, if you know, sometimes it is, and it's just yeah, we're too young as well like business wise.
Speaker 2:We're too young to take on too many problems yeah, as well, like being completely raw, and you have to factor that in because you know if I've got to fix a bathroom, that costs 25 grand. Yeah, can make a break.
Speaker 1:Where's that coming from?
Speaker 2:so it is.
Speaker 3:It's quite difficult my side of the industry really I can imagine well, let's wrap this up, then go back to when you started. One bit of advice that you give to someone else in your shoes.
Speaker 2:The one bit of advice I would give to somebody else, what do you wish that?
Speaker 1:Someone told you.
Speaker 3:Someone told you Before you started your I'm going out on my own, I'm going to boss bitch this, let's fucking do it.
Speaker 1:Wear a condom.
Speaker 2:Don't have any kids, don't do it with the family in tow. I would say, actually, just go for it, because I do genuinely think, as cliche as it is and I'm making myself ick as I'm about to say it life is too short, yeah, to sit there wonder if you get that opportunity for in your lap, like you know, very sadly, opportunity was inheritance and that's a very sad thing. But also that doesn't happen very often to a couple that were living off 80 quid a week with two children and then three children. That's what we were living off. We were living off 80 quid a week and scraping by and debt up to our eyeballs. And you know, like I said, I was. You know I had children from the age of 21, so we were so young as well. I was still young, I think 32 still young okay, it's still young.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, I think, when an opportunity comes or that bright idea comes and you can't not envision yourself standing outside your shop yeah you have, you should just do it and you should go and find any physical possible way of making it happen. Just make it happen because you just I mean, we live a much nicer life now. We haven't made it. Yeah, we haven't made it. There's still a lot of work to be done, but we're not living off 80 quid a week you're also happy like content day-to-day.
Speaker 1:We've got to work. Yeah, I think that is worth so much in itself If you can find something that you love doing and that you have a passion for make it your business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and make it successful, yeah, because you don't have that dread in the morning.
Speaker 3:It's no longer work, is it?
Speaker 1:No, if you enjoy what you do, it's your lifestyle and it becomes your lifestyle If you're really passionate about something and you can make some money out of that, you will make it work. Yeah, there will be lows and you'll think it's not working. But you, if you really are passionate about something for you it's designing bathrooms and getting that customer satisfaction at the end if you're really and for me it's like the creative, the art and I just chose flowers, like I said, as my medium instead of paint or whatever if you're really passionate about it and you can turn it into an income, it will work. It will dip up and down. It's not always going to be oh, like a yo-yo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not like it's so unusual for it just to take off and you're going to become a millionaire.
Speaker 2:And you know, I don't even want to be a millionaire, I just want to be able to live yeah, I just want to go and do a food shop and not worry too much about how much it's going to cost, and I want to be able to buy all the kids uniform when they run out of bloody shoes because they're scuffed them all not have to stretch it to the next high term, you know, and not have to stretch it out, just to be able to be like it's alright, mate, we can go and get you another 20 quid pair of shoes like no problem, whereas before that would have been a nightmare for me. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:So that's just being comfortable is lovely actually and I see it as a quite a luxury where we are, and we are, like I say, nowhere near made it at all. You know we're really not, but it's so much more than what we had, yeah, and and you enjoy doing it and I love doing it, apart from Mondays. Mondays are terrible, it's always a problem day, but, yeah, love doing what I do and it's, and I love doing it.
Speaker 3:Apart from Mondays. Mondays are terrible.
Speaker 2:It's always a problem day, but yeah, I love doing what I do and it's what I've wanted to do for years. And you know, I even had little dreams of like moving to Cornwall and opening my own little bathroom shop there and it just ended up happening this way and I wouldn't change it and I want more, I want another one, I probably. I want to have three. I mean like I said, I'm 32. Our franchise contracts last 10 years, so I could have another two I just got. This is my baby that I've got.
Speaker 3:Get the first one right, get this one.
Speaker 2:Turning perfectly. Once that happens, I want more. Yeah, because I love ripples and I love what I do and I love, I love it. I really, really do and I hope that any you know younger people early 20s are just having that seed of I'd love to do that for themselves.
Speaker 2:Do it as soon as you get that little thing in your head. I'd love to do that. Go and do it. Yeah, just go and do it. Make it your life mission to go and get it done, because if you're doing it with passion, you're gonna love it forever and it will work and nine times out of ten, and I spoke to someone about this other day who quit their job to go on their own.
Speaker 3:I said, okay, hold on. You're worried about losing your safety blanket? You've got a bit of money behind you. You can last for six months. If it doesn't work, how hard would it be for you to go and get your old job back?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I could walk into any bathroom design job. I genuinely could and I'd get a. You could walk into any florist. I'd hate it, You'd hate it.
Speaker 1:But your backup plan, but you don't need to now because you've done it on your own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that you know it's not. It's a risk, but it's not at the same time if you love it, and there's always a way out. If it did fall on its ass, yeah there's a way back out yeah, I think just doing that with children is extra scary yeah, it is, oh it is you've got to have a.
Speaker 3:Don't be stupid, don't go to your boss now I don't know yet, but danny, danny said go and do it now. What about you? Kelly, apart from wearing a condom, don't do it with kids what would I have told me what? Do you wish someone had told you?
Speaker 1:oh god, I really don't know that accountancy is really bloody hard, yeah, yeah oh gosh.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I don't know what would what would I wish someone had have told me I had it. I'm so lucky I had someone telling me what I needed to be told and that was just that I could do it and not to worry and just go and smash it. I actually had that. Oh, that was a moment. Yeah, that was a moment. I had it. I had. I had a lot of support. I had a lot of people going you're really good at this. I did not realize how much I thrive off of compliments. My god, I need to be told every day, every day, that what I'm doing is good. I, if I didn't have a shop and I didn't have people walking in constantly saying your shop's lovely, oh, this is so nice, oh, wow, did you make that? I don't think I would be okay. I need compliments all the time, all the time, reassurance that what I'm doing is really good, even though I know that I'm quite good at flowers.
Speaker 1:I need people to tell me it all the time. Yeah, and I had that when I started. I had people saying you're really good at what you do. You can make a living out of this.
Speaker 2:I mean your whole husband, your whole, my whole husband, all of him literally just went yeah, smash this support. I'm gonna tell you, mind that I wish someone had told me what was involved in running a business and it wasn't just doing what you love.
Speaker 1:You have to do all the shit stuff too, and you can't delegate it at first. You have to do it all. You have to do the bookkeeping and finding the receipts at the bottom of your handbag at the end of the month. You have to do all the customer emails and the customer service and the marketing and the website and the banking and, for me, the delivery driving, and you have to do it all. You cannot afford to delegate that out to anybody else and I wasn't prepared for that. I don't know what like magic accountant. I thought I was going to pull out of my ass in the first year but um, turns out there's a lot of. There's only so much an accountant can do for you.
Speaker 1:They actually need you to keep stuff organized, yeah. I actually still don't do that little. Shout out to my Lawrence, who does all my like keeping my receipts organized and my banking organized. I literally couldn't survive without him. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him.
Speaker 3:Surround yourself with people that support you. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's definitely a good takeaway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it is. And if they don't support you, then just don't ask them, don't let it put you off, just find new people.
Speaker 2:I think I had a lot of people actually when they realised how, because I would have been 29 when I signed my signed my franchisee contract and obviously three children, young kids, and actually you saying that, thinking back, I had a lot of people going. I don't know how you're gonna do this oh, I get that every day.
Speaker 1:Still now, how do you do it? How are you gonna?
Speaker 2:how are you gonna run a whole business? Who's gonna take the kids to school and I'm like well, not fucking me. My husband's gonna do it. We're all the only.
Speaker 1:I get it all the time I feel like lots of people put me on a bit of a pedestal sometimes and they go yeah, how do you do it?
Speaker 3:and I think oh, I feel like just show up every day because I just do also.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't know if anyone knows this, but I have a full-time living nanny and housekeeper called paul, and he does quite a lot too, so like there's a thing for men is that they don't get enough credit for the slack they pick up when they're married to a career woman yeah to a woman in business. They pick up a lot of the slack and paul goes to birthday parties sometimes and the women there go oh isn't it good that you bought them?
Speaker 2:and he's like why, I'm a dad, I'm doing what I do like why?
Speaker 1:why is?
Speaker 2:it good that I bought them. I feel like sean has also had it before um where they've been like, oh, you're saddled with the kids again. Sean's like they are my kids they're my children. I love them. Like he's great, I get to spend all this time yeah and he does, he loves it yeah so yeah, men actually, yeah, I think you're right, some men actually get really um like the raw and down when actually they're doing just a greater job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, any other mum would be no one really says to paul oh how do you do it when they're considering like kids? And what no one says to him, oh, how do you do it with four? Kids at a job but people say it to me all the time and you do feel like a bit of a fraud because I think, well, it's not just me yeah, but, and you show up every day and you make it work in the summer holidays.
Speaker 2:You make it work right kids.
Speaker 3:Guess what we're doing today. We're going to chop roast we're doing this.
Speaker 1:My kids have all been brought up in the back of the shop. They've all spent their childhoods, but I think it's important I think it's really important for kids, especially in today. Like I fear for the kids growing up today, like our kids, I fear for them because it's so hard yeah, it's so hard to get ahead in life it's so hard, but no one puts it out there like they think they can become an instagram influencer yeah, and be a millionaire pinning themselves on.
Speaker 1:That's what's going to happen unlikely that they're going to be. That one that makes money out of being on Instagram, yeah, and, but it's so hard. When I have my son turn to me and he's like I want to be a famous gamer, like there's people playing games now earning millions of pounds, like that. That is true they are, but they're the ones you're seeing.
Speaker 1:You're not seeing these hundreds of millions of people that don't make it and have got no money, and it'd be great if you got there and I want you to be ambitious and I want you to work hard. But don't bring your whole life, but yeah, please don't pin your whole life on it have it as a passion.
Speaker 3:Yeah, have it as a passion. If it works, it's good. If it works, it works my boy wants to be a footballer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like that's great mate, let's do football. You're really good at it and he is really good and if you get scouted, then right fantastic, it'd be great, but don't assume that's what's gonna happen for you, because life is a funny way of handing out lots of different things that can happen and you can't pin everything. You're going to be a footballer, you've got to think. I keep telling him he should be a bathroom fitter, because the industry is running out of young people to do that well no one wants to do it.
Speaker 3:They don't want to do it because they're hooked on instagram and not getting their hands done. Oh yeah, I want a ferrari as my company car my first day and stuff, and it's hard. So I think it's important for the kids. My kids love coming in to work with me. They want to come to work with me. Sometimes they're bored after 20 minutes, yeah, but I think it's important to show them that you've got to work hard in order to have right kids.
Speaker 3:My daughter ella goes to me daddy, have you taken some more money from work again? How did you afford? You told me, you had no money. You've taken money do you know what I mean and it's just yeah, you do the things you do for yourself, for your kids, but I think it's really important that they see both parents working.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. I was in Sainsbury's yesterday. We've got to smash these gender roles.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, we've just got to, yeah for sure. I was in and there was a kid playing up it must have been seven or eight years old playing up and they'd opened. The mum was going don't open the pasta, don't open the pasta. And the kids opened the pasta and it's all over the floor in the middle of the same room. Well, that wasn't very good thinking, was it? That wasn't very good thinking and I'm like nah.
Speaker 1:You're never, ever, never, ever ever gonna you, you stupid twat right, get on your hands and knees you're gonna be picking
Speaker 3:everything I'm gonna cook your dinner with it and I just think that there's too much of this and the kids need to know that it is hard out there. We've got to teach them that it's tough, especially with social media.
Speaker 1:I feel sorry for the kids that are being brought up.
Speaker 3:Gentle parenting, because when their boss shouts at them, one day it's going to tear them apart. Someone bullies them at school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, someone on the road, road rage. It's just going to tear them apart.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, yeah, yeah, he said naughty words, it's naughty words, but yeah, no, that's something it's going to be difficult for them.
Speaker 2:I really do, but I'm really like well about having three boys and you probably feel the same. I'm really passionate about making sure that then they don't turn into this sort of Andrew.
Speaker 1:Tate yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm really passionate about making sure that actually they know that women can work, yeah, and that you, sean praises the ground I walk on to be honest I think they are learning from yeah, that's great really nice it sounds like they are from paul, yeah so I think that's really important, by that us being in business and being so obsessed with our own business that the kids are seeing how actually women can smash it just as much as men can. Yeah, that's really important.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think so. But I also think it's important to tell your girls that your boys, they shouldn't be wearing dresses. But that's just my take.
Speaker 1:That's a whole other podcast. That's a whole other podcast, isn't it?
Speaker 3:But no, thank you very much, girls Pleasure. Thanks for having us. I hope you enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:It's always good to get a woman's perspective on things right. It's always good to get a woman's perspective on things.
Speaker 3:So if you listened, if you watched, thank you very much. That's been Kelly from Bella June Flowers and Danielle from Ripple's Bathrooms in Linfield. Thank you, bye.